Clay In His Hands

my little missionary

2010-11-04T21:31:00.002-05:00

So, this weekend, Flor and I were driving home from a friend's house. I was telling her how blessed I am to have her in my life, etc. Out of no where she said, "But moma, I have to go back to Guatemala." Immedietely my heart breaks because I think she means that she thinks she has to leave. I said, "No baby, you're staying with me forever." Then the part that melts my heart, "But moma, when I grow up I have to go back to hold the babies. They need me."

*sigh*

she told me she'd miss me. I assured her that I would visit her just like my daddy used to visit me. I told her maybe she'd find her daughter in Guatemala. Then she asked me who found me in Guatemala. :)

crazy in my old age

2010-10-15T16:14:00.002-05:00

I'm losing my mind.

On Tuesday, leaving CVS I unlocked my car, started my car, then looked for my keys for TWO WHOLE MINUTES before realizing the radio was on and that I had started my car already.

So today I rushed home to change, then get Flor, then get to church to take the pictures for our directory. After taking pictures and viewing pictures for almost an hour, I leave only to notice that I have on TWO DIFFERENT SHOES.

Go Amanda!

I wish I may, I wish I might...

2010-08-19T21:16:00.007-05:00

Our conversation on the way home from choir practice went something like this:

"Moma, I wish I could see God."
-"Me too! We'll see Him when we get to heaven."

"Why?"
-"Because even though He's everywhere, we will get to see Him with we get to heaven."

"Can we see Granny?"
-"Yes."

"Everytime I see one of those little white things (star) I wish to see Granny."

"Moma, I see one! (at the star:) Please can I see Granny? Please?"

2 minutes later, looking up at the sky...

"When can I see Granny? Monday? Wednesday? Saturday?"

She has such a sweet heart.

Our GOD!

2010-08-10T12:48:00.003-05:00

So, let's say I got something in the mail today that really upset and worried me. Let's say that it had me on the verge of tears on my way to drop Flor off from school. Then imagine a sweet little brown eyed girl saying, "Moma, you wanna hear a song?" and before I could even say 'sure', she chimes in: "Our God is greater! Our God is stronger! Our God is higher than any other!" (and then of course she repeats because those are the only words she knows. But man, was God comforting me this morning! I've been trying to give it Him and felt better almost immediately. Just now when I left work to come home for lunch, guess what was the first song I heard on the radio... yep. Did I get the message? Its something I've definitely got to do something about, but it doesn't matter how big our problems are... OUR GOD IS GREATER!!

make a joyful noise

2010-07-25T13:38:00.002-05:00

I've been so excited the past couple of weeks. I auditioned for the choir at my church, and gracefully was asked to join! I've attended one practice so far and, let me just say, I'm in love. It has been 3 years since I've sang anywhere but in the car and I already feel part of myself that I'd lost coming back. I'd felt so busy and distracted by life, that I didn't feel like I could give anymore time to anyone else. Singing makes me happy. Now if I'd just pick up my guitar again. :-/

July 18, 1998

2010-07-18T14:35:00.002-05:00

It was brought to my attention that 12 years ago today I arrived in Guatemala for the first time. How crazy is that?!? It seems like it was only yesterday and at the same time it was so long ago it seems like a dream. I remember feeling so torn the day before we left and even on the plane ride there. I remember my eyes being opened for the first time in my life when I stepped out of that plane. My heart was filled and broken all at the same time. I'd never had so many snotty little noses and dirty little hands rubbed all over me, and I never remember feeling more at peace. I arrived a selfish 18 year old without a care in the world, but I left with the weight of little Guatemalan souls on the heart.
I had no idea on that day how God would direct my life from there. I had no idea that He was birthing in my heart a mother's love for one little black eyed doll in particular. I am overwhelmed by the thought of it.

Kindergarten

2010-07-10T22:11:00.002-05:00

My sweet baby girl will be starting kindergarten in exactly one month. I really can't believe how time has flown. I remember the first day I layed eyes on her. She just looked up at me with those chocolate eyes and smiled, so sweetly. She was just 15 months old then. Now 4 years and 4 months later, she's 5.5 years old and soon I'll be shopping for a full size backpack for her to fill with school supplies.
It's such a bittersweet feeling. I am so proud of her and how smart she is and how big she's getting. I'm so excited to see all that she will learn and how much she'll grow as a person over the next year. I'm terrified that it may be hard for people to understand her. I pray that people will be understanding and patient with her, teachers and students. But I also know that her speech is improving every single day.
I keep reminding myself to enjoy every moment because I will wake up tomorrow and she will be graduating.

Happy 5th of July!!

2010-07-05T21:00:00.002-05:00

.. and hope you had a happy 4th yesterday!!

Flor and I spent the day with our very amazing family. Swimming, eating, swimming, eating homemade ice cream (which by the way is not served enough in my opinion), and awesome fireworks were a perfect end to the perfect day!

Flor and I were both off today, so after doing a few loads of laundry, we set off for Big Spring Park where we got rid of some seriously stale bread to feed some seriously huge goldfish! I swear there was one that had to be bigger than Flor! To cool off, she played in the fountain downtown. She played doctor to me and poured cold water on my feet.

It's been a great weekend. I'm counting down the days until Flor starts Kindergarten. I really can't believe that she's this old already. I pray everyday that she is ready. I pray for her protection. I pray for her to thrive in every thing that she attempts. She'll start soccer in August too, which we are both super excited about!

Our day in court

2010-02-25T21:42:00.004-06:00

So, again, today was Flor's finalization of adoption. It went very smoothly. We (Chris, Flor, Daddy, and I) met my lawyer in front of the probate office and he told us that the judge was out for the afternoon. Luckily there was someone who could fill in for him in our hearing. She didn't tell me to raise my right hand, but I did swear to tell "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God." Chris told me later I should have raised my hand, but she didn't tell me too and I thought about it, but before I could react I was in the middle of being sworn in, then it would've been obvious I had no idea what to do. But anyway, she asked me a series of questions and my lawyer asked me some more, including, "Were you asked to spend an accessive amount of money?", "Has anyone approached you, claiming to be related to her or wanting to adopt her?", and several other questions. I really started to feel hot, like I was in one of those police questioning rooms, where even if you did nothing wrong you were about to get in trouble for something. haha! The cutest thing that I will never forget is how the lady overseeing our hearing asked Flor how old she was. "Five.", "Are you in kindergarten?", "Not yet.",' "Are you excited about it?", "Do you want me to sing my ABC's?", "Of course I do!", "A,B,C,D...," And she proceeded to sing her ABC's very proudly. It was about the cutest thing I've ever seen. So, in about 1/2 an hour we were done and had our pictures taken and hopefully in a few months I'll have 3 new birth certificates for Flor. We celebrated with dinner at Chedder's. :) It was good day.

He is still faithful

2010-02-24T22:13:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure if I wrote about it here, but on the way to Birmingham for Flor's surgery, my car broke down. It's been frustrating and stressful not having a car, having to rely on others even more to help out with getting Flor and taking me places, borrowing cars, vans, SUVs, trucks..., whatever you've got. I've gone some days without a car. Honestly, looking back, its always worked out. I've never been stuck in one place when I needed to be in another.

All the while, I am so blessed to have the best daddy in the world, who also just so happens to know a little bit about mechanics. So, for basically the same price, he's replacing the entire engine instead of just the transmission. I don't know what I'd do without him.

So, this week, someone asked me what God was teaching me through all of this. Uh, well.... besides patience?? (always)... I had no idea. So this got me thinking and I asked God what He wanted to show me. My answer has been humbling.

Back up a few months.

Recently I've been thinking about my move home from Guatemala. I know that it was meant for me to begin the adoption process. I moved home and out on my own again, got a "real" job, and began taking care of things myself. There is the problem right there. In Guatemala, it didn't matter how many bills I paid or what problem arose, I knew that God had moved his people to give and through them He provided my every need. Every single one. Well, now I just take care of things with the money I make from the jobs I go to 5 to 6 days a week, right? And when the end of the month comes and money is tight, I silently panic. But I make it work and get my next paycheck and the cycle repeats itself. I'm not kidding. This has been my life for the past several months. And maybe it's everyone's life. Maybe that's just how it works here.

So, when asked what God was showing me through all of this, I had to think about it. It hit me like a ton of bricks. His faithfulness. I've driven five different vehicles in 8 weeks and asked for favors to get from here to there more times than I can remember. He provided what I needed. I'm beginning to think that there was more than an answer to prayer in my car breaking down. (I prayed for safety, which apparently was not going to happen in my car!) If my car hadn't broken down, He wouldn't have been able to prove to me that He is still faithful.

"the" conversation

2010-02-15T18:33:00.003-06:00

I'm having to write this down this second before I forget...

This conversation came a little sooner than I had hoped or expected, but God knows and is control of my little girl's heart, so I trust him to protect her.

Flor asked me tonight if she was in my tummy when she was a baby. I said no. (I should've known that wasn't the end) So of course, she wanted to know whose tummy she was in... I just told her that I didn't know her name, but that she was in Guatemala. I said that she had wanted another mommy to take care of her that would love her very much. Well, she misunderstood me and got the saddest look on her face. She said, "Mommy, I just want you to be my mommy!" I reassured her. She asked if Mama Shyrel and Papa Steve had her in their tummy. I said that the other lady could not take care of her and asked God to help her find a mommy that would love her THE MOST! So, she took her to Mama Shyrel and Papa Steve because they would be able to find the best mommy in the world for her that would love her the most. Then the part that just melts my heart... she said, "I know who it is... MOMMY, IT'S YOU!!!" Then she hugged me so tight and said, "Thank you for coming to get me in Guatemala."

Thank you God for understanding for a 5 year old's heart.

This week (last year) in fotos... continued

2010-02-13T18:30:00.000-06:00

Waiting to go home... but today was the day!!!

Finally home to all of our waiting family, plus this familiar face:

prayers needed

2010-02-12T17:31:00.002-06:00

There have been 2 shootings in Huntsville in the past week. One at a middle school, where a 9th grader shot and killed another 9th grader... now a university professor has shot and killed three other professors and another is critically injured.

People need Jesus. Nothing is worth taking another person's life. It makes my heart sad. Please pray for the families and staff involved, for the students, for this city.

This week (last year) in fotos... continued

2010-02-12T15:52:00.003-06:00

Today, last year, we went to say goodbye to friends at Amor del Nino. Here is Flor playing with her 2 very best friends that she still talks about all the time... Danny and Adriana.

Giveaway!!

2010-02-12T15:48:00.002-06:00

This week (last year) in fotos... continued

2010-02-11T13:43:00.002-06:00

February 11th, last year, we were on our way to the US Embassy for our visa appointment...

What a crazy morning that was... God had his hands all over us that day!!

I can't believe how much she's grown in a year!!

This week (last year) in fotos... continued

2010-02-10T10:19:00.003-06:00

The second day of our trip last year was our day in Antigua. I definitely wanted Stephanie to see where used to live and you just can't be in Guatemala without having a trip to Antigua!!

... and lunch at Mono Loco... best quesadillas ever!

Then she dragged us all over some of the ruins near my old school.

but we were exhausted, so what better to cool us off than...

HELADO de McDonald's!!

Happy Gotcha Week!!!

2010-02-09T10:10:00.005-06:00

This week I will post pics from each day of this week last year... I've never been sure which day to celebrate "Gotcha Day", so we're celebrating all week!! Last night we started the celebrations off right with a Krispy Kreme donut... and yes, the hot light was on!

This was our first moment together forever... priceless.

New old Flor pictures

2010-02-06T22:58:00.000-06:00

I received an email tonight from a lady who knew Flor before she lived at Amor del Nino. She's sending me a disk of pictures and video of Flor from when she was a baby. She emailed me a preview:

How excited am I? I only have a handful of pictures of her from those years and I cherish them. They are my greatest treasure! I can't wait to see the rest!

post surgery week

2010-02-03T14:17:00.005-06:00

We walked into the hospital at 7:30am and Flor ran into the arms of her abuelo! She loves him so much!! She played with Stephanie for an hour and then they called us back. Once back in pre-op, she began to get a little nervous and started crying for her abuelo. The sweet nurse said that he could come back and so she sat in his lap and cried her little heart out. She kept telling me, "I'm trying to stop, moma." Bless her heart. I told her it was ok to cry sometimes and she just cried on my shoulder. Then God sent an angel named Atasha to come visit her. She brought in a puzzle and colors for Flor. She knew just what to say to her and made her feel better almost instantly. When it was time for us to say goodbye, we walked as far as we could and got our hugs and kisses. She walked back with Atasha like a little princess, even holding the corner of her gown up so it wouldn't drag the floor. That was 9:00am.

I heard from the nurse at 9:40am saying that Dr. Grant had just started surgery and that Flor had done great. They updated me every hour until Dr. Grant finally came out about 12:15pm. He said she had made him work harder than he expected, meaning there was lots of scar tissue to work through and he also found a hole behind the hard pallet that he got my permission to fix while she was already under. Daddy and I got to go back into recovery by 1 as we waited for a private room. She was knocked out the entire time.

When she did finally wake up, I got my kisses and she asked for Chris, who was on his way up with Jami and Stephanie. She did not complain of any pain whatsoever, she didn't even flinch when she noticed the "straw" in her hand. She slept on and off for most of the afternoon. Daddy, Jami, and Stephanie left before 3 to try and get home before the roads got bad since it was sleeting in Huntsville. Chris stayed with us in the hospital, but left by 5am to get to work by 9. That was nice since I was able to go to the cafeteria to eat and take a little break.

Flor ate a little dinner, but lost it all only an hour or so later. Zofran took care of the nausea after that. She was up and down all night going to the bathroom, or trying to at least. We didn't sleep much and waiting anxiously all morning for word on when we could go home. But the morning came and went. Flor got upset several times because she just wanted to go home. After barely eating her lunch, she napped for about 1 1/2 hours... no, I didn't eat all day! Finally, about 2:30pm, the nurse came in and told us we could go!

The drive home was uneventful besides a little nausea at first. She slept from Gardendale until we exited off of I-565 and we were welcomed by her aunts, Connie and Stephanie and their families. You wouldn't have guessed she had just had surgery because she was almost bouncing off the walls! But as soon as they left she became whiney and crashed! We slept for almost 11 hours that night!

Since the surgery, Flor has been doing extremely well compared to what I was expecting. She's still been very whiney and sensitive about everything, crying more than usual, and has a few minor personaloty changes, but I'm expecting that to get back to normal when she starts feeling better. She has only a few minor complaints a day about her mouth bothering her and she's having some trouble with constipation, but we're working through that.

All in all she is doing extremely well. Thank you all so much for your prayers!!

Pre-op

2010-01-28T22:00:00.003-06:00

Before a trip, do you pray for safety? If you do, do you expect a trip without any serious problems? I have to say that I think I was one of those people who thought that if I prayed for safety on trip, that there would be no problems. Today I was taught a new lesson.

Flor and I set out at 6am for a 9am appointment (we were asked to be there 30 minutes before and I like to allow for traffic, construction, etc). 30 minutes into our journey, I heard a strange sound coming from the front driver's side tire. I decide better to be safe than sorry, so I slowed down and put on my hazards. Once I got into the emergency lane and slowed down a little more, out of no where my front tires locked up and I came to a sudden stop. So hard that my back end fishtailed a little bit. It scared me to death, but once I got a clear thought I got out to check the tires fulling expecting a flat. Nope. Tires looked great. The car was still running, so I hop back in and put it in drive... nothing. Well, not nothing, but definitely no movement. No movement from those little round things that tend to move your car forwards and backwards.

After my immediete panic, I start making phone calls and because of what he could understand despite the babbling through my tears, he started heading my way. He was an hour away. So Flor played in the back seat for an hour, not a care in the world except that her mommy was crying. She told me she would fix the car for me so that I would be happy... all together now... "aaaaaaww!!"

Daddy and Jami brought me her car and a trailer attached to his truck. They pull up, we pray again, we throw our junk into her car, and we're off! Since I had left so early, we only arrived 30 minutes late to our appointment, which seems to be no big deal at all to anyone else but me in that hospital. We were called back about an hour later and saw a few nurses and the audiologist. I was asked 4 different times if she had any allergies or was on any medication. Then we saw Dr. Grant at about noon and headed to anesthesia for our last stop of the day! I signed in at 12:40 in anesthesia and left at 1:40 after being told I didn't have to do this step since I spoke to someone there over the phone earlier this week. UGH!!!

So, we were starving and extremely tired, so we swing by a fast food restaurant that Flor calls "Pollo Campero" and checked into the hotel at 3:15... against my will we had to get back out once again to find some antibacterial soap for her bath that I didn't know I had to have. We ordered pizza in, I know... such a healthy day of eating. But we are finally in and in our jammies.

Here she is all antibacaterialized...

We have to be at the hospital at 7:30am and it will last about 1 1/2 hours. She'll be in recovery for another hour, then we'll get to go back with her in a private room where we'll stay the night. We should be heading home on Saturday. I'm praying the weather doesn't hinder anyone from coming or going home, including us. I'm also praying that Flor will be as comfortable as possible following the surgery and that she starts eating and drinking by herself quickly.

So, lesson learned. My pray was to get us here safely and on time. My first thought on the side of the road was "uh, hello?!?", my immediete second thought was "wait a minute, maybe this is keeping me safe. maybe getting here safely AND on time couldn't be done in my car." He knew he had to completely lock up my tires if He was gonna get the point across! But he did.

Flor's about to go to bed, but not before she got her surprise!! I brought a styrofoam bowl, a plastic fork, and cornflakes!!! I've never heard a higher pitched "WHAT!!?!". She was so excited! I had to pay $3.90 for a glass of room service milk, but the look on her face was worth it!

Yes, she is kissing her cornflakes!

Here's what I'm going to do:

2010-01-13T22:13:00.004-06:00

So, when I think about it, I'm going to post random things that Flor says now so I don't forget how she "used to talk" after her surgery. It's an exciting thing, but I have to admit I will miss her sweet little errors.

"I was hockin birst" = I was talking first

I'm also going to video her as much as possible these next two weeks. I think it will be amazing to go back a year from now to see how much her speech has improved!!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-26T22:02:00.004-06:00

Well, our first Christmas as a family has come and gone. It was much more than I could have asked for. Flor is the joy of my life. I thank God for her everyday. To be able to live through her eyes, full of wonder and learning and love. She is a precious gift and I couldn't have asked for anything more, yet God still gave me the gift of eternal life.

2009-12-21T08:11:00.003-06:00

So, first of all, this week marked our one year anniversary of being released from PGN. Basically, Flor's been officially mine for a year!! Can you believe it?!? I remember the day last year, which was the 17th, receiving a call from my dear friend Melissa letting me know that we were OUT!! I, of course, bawled my eyes out! It was a huge weight off my shoulders. There was still a long wait ahead of us, but to know I had a daughter was an amazing feeling!

So, here we are a year later. Today we went to the children's hospital in Birmingham to meet her "cleft team", which consists of a speech therapist, an audiologist, an ENT, a genetics doctor, and a plastic surgeon. We saw the speech therapist first. She did several tests which showed her which sounds Flor was missing or replacing with other sounds. Like saying "nog" instead of "dog". Flor did so well, and loved it! Then she checked her "nasality", which proved to us how sound and air was coming out through her nose. She basically failed that test with flying colors. But that's alright, that's why we were there. The audiologist said her hearing was great, which is a blessing... no more excuses when she "can't hear me" now. :)

The genetics doctor said that a lot of cleft pallets are part of a bigger problem, like a syndrome or deformaty. He said Flor's looked isolated, which is good. With no family history, he was limited to what he could tell us. But the less the better, because if he had to tell us more that would mean there was a problem somewhere. :)

The only traumatic part of the day was when the ENT stuck bubble gum scented numbing liquid on a cotton ball up her nose. He looked at her throat through a tiny light camera that he stuck up her nose. Not fun for Flor, but she was very brave. And by brave, I mean she screamed her head off, but who wouldn't? That basically confirmed what we thought, that her pallet is too short. There's normally a muscle that runs across the back of the pallet in front of the "hangy ball thing". With cleft pallets that muscle usually grows up each side of the cleft. When they repaired her pallet, they didn't repair that muscle, so he basically saw no movement in her pallet when she spoke certain sounds. He did say the tonsils were almost compensating and closing the back of her throat somewhat. But we have scheduled surgery for them to repair that muscle on January 29th. He said that could improve her speech by 80-85%, which is amazing. She'll continue speech therapy and over the next year we'll evaluate her improvement. After that, if we didn't see significant improvement that we could further discuss other options, which are typically more invasive and risky surgeries, involving bone grafts and air passages.

So, please remember Flor in your prayers as we approach this surgery the end of January. She'll stay one night at the hospital and be on a 4 week soft food diet. Pray that she that her pain is minimal after surgery and during recovery.

Finally...

2009-12-11T17:07:00.004-06:00

Be in prayer for Flor Thursday. We are going to see the pediatric plastic surgeon in Birmingham. I'm praying for wisdom for Dr. Grant and peace over Flor and I.

I'm planning for Flor's birthday party this weekend. She will be 5 years old and is so excited!! I, on the other hand, am a little sad because I can't believe she is so BIG!! But I'm so happy for her. I am trying to keep it small, but with my family that's a little impossible. I've got it down to 50 people... is that too many? Of course, no one has RSVP'd yet, except my grandma who said she may or may not come. :) Oh wait... I just thought of two more I had forgotten to add to the invite... make that 52. :-/ It is going to be F. U. N.

Then with Christmas the next week... oh my goodness... she is not going to know what to do with herself. Can you imagine being able to remember your first Christmas?!? Well, you know, its not her first, but it'll definitely be different than what she remembers. She's asked for a gee-you-eye-tee-aye-are... SHHHHHHH, don't tell her, but she's getting it!! :) I can't wait!!!!

Photo contest!!!

2009-12-08T13:12:00.001-06:00

Go vote for Flor!!!

#3!!!

Thanksgiving with my sweetie

2009-11-26T20:28:00.005-06:00

I put up the Christmas tree while Flor was napping today. When I woke her up I told her there was a surprise for her. When we came downstairs, I turned her around and her eyes got so big and she was speechless!! After a minute she whispered, "Wow.... amazing!"

I wish I could have captured that face on camera.

Then she very proudly helped me put the ornaments on the tree. (I think I am more excited about Christmas this year than she is!!)

cleft team UNITE!

2009-11-25T18:57:00.004-06:00

I finally got the referal today from Birmingham. Flor has an appointment with the children's plastic surgeon on December 17th. They've said her pallet is too short and her pediatrician, ENT, and dentist have all mentioned bone grafts, which scares this mommy's heart. Thankfully, her Father in Heaven guides the surgeons hands and hearts and HE is in control. That is my only sanity when I think about it. I'm excited and anxious; looking forward to it and dreading it... all at the same time.

I'll update afterwards.

prayers from angels

2009-11-23T18:37:00.003-06:00

I do believe I have a little prayer warrior on my hands!! Yesterday, Flor and I fell running back from the laundry room. Yes, we were literally running... just playing around. We fell on a concrete sidewalk. Not the semi-smooth gray concrete either... it was the kind with little peebles and I fell trying to shield her too. Luckily Flor fell a little more gracefully than I did and she only had a tiny scratch on her hand. I, on the other hand, have a dime sized hole in the palm of my hand, and my hip... and on my elbow. So, last night, out of nowhere, she came over, closed her eyes, and folded her little hands and said, "My mommy not hurt anymore, Amen!" She believed that with all her little heart too.

Just about a week ago, she prayed that I would not cough anymore. Then a few weeks before that she prayed for her Gran's daddy that he wouldn't be sick anymore. All of this comes un-coached. She just prays straight from the heart and it is about the sweetest thing I've ever heard. She's a little angel!

perhaps better than Disney World?

2009-11-08T22:30:00.003-06:00

2009-10-31T00:05:00.003-05:00

Bright and early Monday morning, we will be on our way to the hospital for Flor to get T tubes in her ears. Should br a quick preceedure, but I'd appreciate the prayers.

We will also hopefully be receiving a referal to a doctor in Birmingham to evaluate her for any further pallet surgeries. I'm hoping the appointment isn't too far out. I'm anxious to get things moving, but I know it is in God's hands and it will all happen in His time.

growing girl

2009-10-03T23:09:00.002-05:00

Flor has grown 3 inches since February!! She's now 41 inches and 36.3 lbs!! No wonder she has growing pains!!

Anyone know how to freeze time?

Doctor's visit

2009-10-01T18:19:00.003-05:00

So, today was a day for firsts for Flor... and me. We went to meet her new doctor for the first time. She was really excited this morning, even walking in the door... even sitting in the room waiting for the doctor to come in. All that changed after the doctor mentioned the FOUR shots he wanted her to have today. She was all smiles until the nurse walked in with the 5 syringes (one was the flu mist). Panic set in immedietely. The nurse and I did not have enough strength to hold her down. She literally pushed all of my weight off of her with her little arms. The scream was terrifying and I didn't even know her mouth would open that wide. At one point, as if my heart wasn't ripping apart anyway, she leans up mid-scream and kisses me on the lips. It was so hard not to cry. I held it until I got into the car. Flor had stopped crying by then, but she limped until about 5 minutes ago. :/

So, afterwards we went to get a prize, and she picked pizza for dinner, and got an orange coke (Sunkist), which is only for special treats. But she deserved it today, it was a rough one!

So, we have a referal now to an ENT to set up a cleft team for her and hopefully get rolling on any other surgeries/proceedures she'll need before starting school next year. Her appointment is set for October 29th. So, please keep that in your prayers.

7 months

2009-09-13T13:41:00.003-05:00

Today marks 7 months since I brought Flor home. On one hand, it has flown by and on the other hand, I can't believe it has been that long and I can't really remember life without her. She is my heart's blessing. She is my answer to years of prayer.

2009-09-08T21:54:00.003-05:00

Thanks to all those who gave advice on the growing pains... we haven't had an "episode" since that post.. WHEW!!! Thank goodness!

Flor has been a little under the weather this weekend. She's got a cough that wakes her up. I'm sure it has something to do with allergies/sinus. She was burning up on Saturday night while we were out of town. (doesn't it always happen that way?!?) On the way home yesterday, I could see it in her big brown eyes that she just didn't feel good. So, today I was bound to take her to the doctor. We haven't been established at her pediatrician's office yet, so I went to a walk-in tonight. There was a 3 to 4 hour wait (REALLY?!?!?) so we turned right around and left. Can you believe she actually cried because we didn't get to see the doctor?? She was so disappointed! But she was actually better tonight. Still coughing and has a runny nose, but no fever whatsoever. But the good news is that I found out that I can see her pedicatrician if she gets sick, so I don't have to wait until October 1st. It also pays to have family working in the office and she said she'd get me in first thing tomorrow if I needed to. I'm believing that I won't need it though.

We spent the weekend in Meridian, MS with Chris' family. I thought it was funny that we went to Mississippi to watch the Alabama game that was being played in Atlanta, GA... but we had a really great trip! His grandma, mom, stepdad, brother, uncle, and cousin were all there. Flor had a ball and was the center of attention!! She followed Robert (Chris' stepdad) around like she was his shadow. Sunday we went to watch them play 9 holes of golf. That was a first for Flor and I both, even thought we didn't even get out of the golf cart! Flor was so great all weekend, I was so proud of her. Oh, and ROLL TIDE!!!

HELP WANTED

2009-08-31T21:08:00.004-05:00

Any advice on how to handle growing pains?

Flor wakes up quite often, crying because of her feet hurting. They come and go so quickly and sporatically... I haven't figured them out. Massage helps. Ice helps. Ibuprofen helps. Sometimes...

I'm open to suggestions.

fall is in the air

2009-08-26T21:25:00.003-05:00

Sunday was so nice, we spent the evening out riding Flor's bike. She hasn't gotten it quite down yet... lacking a little feet/eye coordination... but she's getting there! Every time she'd get on she'd say, "You ready, Dora?" heehee...

She said the funniest thing this week and I wanted to write it down before I forget... anytime her nose runs or she sneezes (which she just calls "bless-you,bless-you!"), she'll say, "Mama, my nose fall-out, fall-out!" She'll repeat "fall-out" depending on how bad her nose is running. It's really adorable!

She started her speech therapy again this week. She really likes it and always repeats to me what she's worked on each day. Last Monday it was the "g" sound... "Ga-ga-gum", which Flor says more like, "Na-na-num"... but that's why she's in speech therapy now isn't it?!? I'm really glad she'll have a whole other year of it before starting kindergarten next year. Yes, that's right. I said, "KINDERGARTEN"!!

First day of school.

2009-08-10T21:40:00.004-05:00

Flor had a great first day at school... but that's just me guessing. When I asked her about it tonight, the conversation went something like this:

"Flor, did you have a good first day at school?"

-"No."

"What did you do?"

-"Nothing."

"Did you play with Emily?"

-"No."

"Did you eat lunch?"

-"No."

While saying this she was cutting her eyes at me while showing me that playing grin, so I'll just assume it's opposite day.

Stinker.

I had told her all summer that her school was closed for her, so she stayed at Mama Carol's house. Well, it was really adorable to me that as we walked through the door for the open house last Thursday, she looked up at me excitedly with those big brown eyes and said, "MAMA!!! THE DOOR'S OPEN!!!" It was a miracle, people.

i still have sand in my hair..

2009-08-06T15:20:00.005-05:00

.. not really, it's just all over the house by now.

Flor had her first beach trip this week, and what an understatement to say that she is in love just as much as I am!! We did spend plenty of time at the pool, but she swam in the ocean and played on the beach plenty too! She loved the huge sand pile... "just like at abuelo's house". She was brave enough to swim in the ocean with Chris, but she didn't like the "fish poo-poo", better known as seaweed.

She swam without her floaties for a little bit. I was beyond proud! She talked to anyone within a 6 foot radius at any given time, and was even sweet enough to voluntarily share her cheez-its with two sweet toddlers that were too afraid to get in the water. I even have video of her doing a cannonball of the side of the pool, which has got to be the cutest little cannonball I've ever seen. So enough words, I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking...

an old journal

2009-07-25T17:29:00.002-05:00

Flor is napping right now... she was worn out from the lake trip. I'll post a few pictures later, although I didn't take my camera out on the lake because we just floated on a huge "island" float off the dock. Too risky for my camera.

I've been doing some late summer cleaning and I found my journal from my second trip to Guatemala, which was November and December 1998. I was there for 6 weeks. I have to post some of the things I wrote because its just so funny...

"November 2, 1998: ...'Yesterday I found out where I might be sleeping for the next month. It is the room that Katie slept in when I was here. It is so tiny and it smells like pee a little. But I figure, I'll get used to it."

BWHAHAHAAH!&^@*&!^@&*!!! Seriously?!?

"November 9, 1998: ...'It was so hard for me to get to sleep tonight because I could hear the rats running across the ceiling. I know they can't get in, but I'm really not a mouse person at all. I've woken up twice and right now it's 3:16am and I just took a shower."

-I can vividly remember that night... makes. me. shudder.

Ok, and this one's my favorite so far:

"November 19, 1998: 'The other day, me and Jenny went to the tienda out on the road. Well, all of the sudden this big truck pulls up and about 2 women, 3 men, and 4 or 5 police stepped out. The policemen had their rifles or whatever. So we thought it was something big. Then all of the sudden they pull out this pizza with a coke. They all just sit by the road and eat. Isn't that strange? There are so many strange and wonderful things to see in Guatemala. I love it here."

How funny is that?!? Somehow seeing this strange thing just confirmed to me how much I loved that country... too funny.

Hopefullly I'll find more things to post from this journal.

Girl's only!

2009-07-24T16:16:00.004-05:00

I'm taking Flor on a girl's only weekend today. We're going to the lake and she is so excited, but has no idea why! It's really adorable. I told her we were going to the lake and she asks (of course), "Why?"

"Because it'll be fun! We're gonna party!!"

"Is it 'happy birthday to me'?"

"No. It'll just be fun."

"Ooooh.... YAY!!"

All she knows right now is that we can't leave until she takes a nap. Hopefully nap comes before 5 pm. I hope to post lots of pics when we get back.

11 years ago this week....

2009-07-19T12:18:00.004-05:00

.. I was in Guatemala for the first time. I went with a group of 8 to 12 people, two of which were my dad and 11 year old brother. We slept in green army tents. I helped in the kitchen cooking for 180 children. I cleaned bathrooms and dorm rooms for 180 children. I changed about 180 diapers... or more... and I played for countless hours with babies I'd never met before, but who I quickly fell in love with. A see of dark hair and chocolate eyes and brown skin... they were all so beautiful. When I think about all that fell into place to get me to that country... all that I've been through that kept me going back.. and I think of the precious little girl that I kiss good night every night... I cannot ingore God's hand all over our life. I wonder how much my life would be different even if one little step to get me from 11 years ago to now wouldn't have happend. What if I would have been stubborn and said no to the call in my heart. What if I would have followed the world's steps instead of God's? I thank Him every day for bringing me through all that he did. I am beyond blessed because he did.

summer time update

2009-07-09T20:52:00.004-05:00

Ok, I really appologize at how horrible I've been at blogging.. I can't believe it's been so long!

Flor has learned the word "why" and uses it after every sentence I speak. When I ask her, "Why do you always ask me 'why?'..?" Her response: "Because I'm Flor." Sometimes she tries to tell me that it's because she had a cleft lip as a baby, but I'm just not buying that. The first excuse is so much more believable. It's funny, she holds up one side of her lip when you ask her what she looked like as a baby. (we've been looking at pictures recently)

Another thing she's started just in the past week is commenting after every statement you make to her with, "I know!" (but you have to imagine that in the cutest little Guatemalan "valley girl" voice you can) -ie- "Flor, you're so pretty!" -I know!- or "Flor, look at the fireworks!" -I know!- I promise I don't talk like that.

She's spending the summer with a family friend, which has been such a blessing for us! She'll start back to "school" August 10th, which is actually just a daycare, but to Flor it's school and she loves it! I can't wait for them to see how much English she's learned this summer.

We go swimming at least twice a week and Flor is getting so good! She is very brave and makes me so proud when I see her overcome her fears and push herself to grow. She jumps off the side now by herself and she will "swim" underwater with only her arm floats on. She can touch in the shallow end on her tippy toes, which quite frankly makes me a little sad because I can almost watch her growing!!!

Concerts in the Park

2009-06-12T07:09:00.004-05:00

This week we went to 'Concerts in the Park' at Big Springs Park. If you've never gone, it's a really fun, and free, night out, every Monday in the summer!! Good music, dancing, and friends!! I met a friend and her boyfriend there, and Flor danced with her all night... well, if all night ends at 8:00! We took bubbles and probably annoyed everyone sitting in a 4ft. radius. There were lots of dogs running around, so Flor was a little anxious about that, even though they were on leashes, she is still pretty scared of dogs.

Breanne took this picture of her.

I love days like today...

2009-05-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

it was sort of like this:

First doctor visit

2009-05-21T13:10:00.004-05:00

Flor had an appointment with her new pediatrician today. We finally got her insurance settled and she was such a big girl too! She kept saying, "Mama, yo no lloro." (I don't cry) and "It's ok." Definitely reassuring herself more than she was me. She didn't like the gown she had to wear. It got in the way of her wiggling around all over the table and on the floor. So, she spent most of the time just in her panties... not shy at all!! At least the doctor was a lady and I told her that it was ok for the doctor to see her panties.

We weren't sure on the translation of one of the vaccines, so I have to get back to her and follow up. I will ask her then more about follow up surgeries for her cleft pallet.

Dumbo

2009-05-08T23:38:00.005-05:00

Ok, so I bought this kiddie pool at Target, thinking I was getting this great deal... $5.00! Well, as you can see... I got my money's worth... it is a BABY pool!! But Flor, being Flor, did not care one bit that she barely fit. She had such a blast this afternoon! She swam and swam! Then her Barbie's swam too! So, I'd say it was WELL worth the $5 I spent for it! I can't wait to take her to a big pool this summer!!

The beginning of this video reminds me of Dumbo swimming the bucket taking his first bath! She was so cute!!

meant to be

2009-05-07T21:07:00.003-05:00

Today I felt so exhausted. Not really sure why. Tonight was one of those nights that really make me wish I stayed at home with Flor. Sometimes I have a little pity party and only invite myself. I think of how unfair it is for Flor that I have to keep working... blah, blah, blah... seriously?!? Would she be better off without me?!? No way, Jose. I know that God sees this desire in my heart and that one day I will be able to do just that, until then I do what I have to do.

Every day I see more and more of myself in her. Some things that freakishly make up her own little personality, that I had nothing to do with, but that are so me... other things that she so sweetly copies from her favorite person in the world... that'd be me. Either way, there is no doubt in my mind that she was born my daughter. I wish I could explain it to make people understand. It's not some great thing I've done here... It's not that I've "saved" her from whatever life she would have had... This is just the way it has to be. There is no way around us being together. Both of our lives have taken us down these paths..., paths that have crossed and now intertwined!

swine flu vacation

2009-04-30T14:08:00.003-05:00

You may know that all schools/daycares/school activities have been cancelled in Madison County, Madison City, and Huntsville City areas because of 2 possible cases of the swine flu... and as it worked out, I got to stay home with Flor today. We've had a lazy morning, sleeping in until 9, since we had company last night until almost 11.. but Flor didn't mind because she sure loves Brennan and Tanner!! They were so funny when I told them that their school was out until Monday. All you could hear were woohoo's and yay's, until they saw me glaring at them. Then they quickly said a little prayer, "God, thank you for closing school for two days..., but please heal the kids that are sick." So sweet. We really had a good time though. (we played Scrabble, Dutch Blitz, Candy Land, and Battleship until the wee hours of the... well, like I said, almost 11. She slept like a log, and when we got back from lunch she asked me if she could go to sleep. OF COURSE!! This girl was definitely made for me, we both loooooove our sleep!! It was nice to get in a little nap myself!

forget bunny ears...

2009-04-17T20:57:00.004-05:00

Just wanted you to know that Flor is the biggest girl in the world... she tied one tennis shoe today!! She confidently told me this morning, after I'd already tied on one shoe, "Mama, I can do it myself." Oh, ok, I thought. Then there she goes... tighten, loop, swoop, and pull.... !! Can I just say that it is the understatement of the year to say that I am such a proud mommy!!

Yes, that's right...

2009-04-15T19:45:00.003-05:00

I did not take a picture of Flor on Easter.

It could be worse. :)

here's what's happening in our neck of the woods!

2009-04-06T21:08:00.003-05:00

Flor can sing her ABC's and it's really cute when she gets to the "Now I know my ABC's" part because then she starts all over again at "H, I, J K, L, MNOP..." She will finally realize the song has gone on far too long and say, "Ya, mama.", ever so calmly and await my "Good job!"... it's really sweet.

She can understand a lot of English, though all she says on her own is, Thank you, you're welcome, I love you the most, now (which she says in the sweetest little southern accent), she also says, "Por favor, Please!" lol.. , she is too cute! She'll repeat anything you tell her too, and every once in awhile she'll belt out a "Alabama, ROOOOOOLL TIDE!!!" She also sings along to a Ray Lamontagne song that I've played in my car over and over again since she's been here. It's been nice that family and friends have been able to communicate with her, even if it's one way for now. I've been trying to speak more English to her at home. Up until the past week or so, it's been mainly Spanish between she and I. I imagined it helped her feel more at ease in all of her new surroundings.

She qualified for speech therapy through the State, and I will start this Friday by taking her to the elementary school that we live near for 30 minutes a week. They aren't sure how much they can help since she does still have an opening in her pallet, but they said they wanted to try. I believe that it can only benefit her. She's doing great in school, and enjoys asking me every morning who it is that will pick her up each day. It's sweet to see how excited she gets each and every time, whether it be Melodie, Gran, or Stephanie... she seems to get a kick out of it! She always asks me why, if someone is coming to visit her or pick her up... she'll ask, "Why?", with her little hands on her hips, then she'll casually answer her own question with this honest answer, "Because they love me a whole lot!!"

So. very. true.

Sneak peak!!

2009-03-31T19:21:00.002-05:00

For those of you who didn't take advantage of the hottest up and coming photographer while she was in town, then, well... YOUR LOSS!!! ;) Sneak a peak at a few of the pics she took of my little flower: Check out Kelsey Lantz's blog to see!! You'll be a better person for looking, I promise... well, at least it will make you smile.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Fernanda!!!

2009-03-29T10:06:00.002-05:00

Fernanda had a build-a-bear party that was so adorable!

Friday we went up to the park and the girls had so much fun playing on the playground!

Kelsey took her pictures yesterday after the party and I cannot wait to see them!! I'm pretty sure they will be the most adorable pictures you'll ever see! ;)

Gran's birthday party!

2009-03-27T16:12:00.004-05:00

Uncke Haven gives Flor a lift!

playing in the sand pile

what a sweet moment caught of Paw-paw, Will, and Elliana...

Just a few of my favorite people:

I think Zion is thinking, "Get me away from those girls!!"

Flor and her abuelo!

highlights from spring break

2009-03-24T21:50:00.005-05:00

Have you ever seen a more adorable Hello Kitty?!? I haven't!!
Flor's daycare was closed for Spring Break, so Papa Mike and Mama Carol kept her for me. I cannot tell you what a blessing this was for me... and Flor! She is in love with them!! And for good reason!! They were amazing! They even came to pick her up in the mornings to give me extra time to get ready for work! I got so spoiled!
They took her to the aquarium in Chattanooga on Tuesday. Just look at this face:

I've got such a clown on my hands!!

She had to stop and primp in the mirror...

And yes... SHE PET A SNAKE! That's all I have to say about that.

I love this next picture... she is having the time of her life!!

Papa Mike, the "other Amanda" and Flor checking out the stingrays!

On Friday, they went to a petting zoo... "Old McDonald's Farm". She loved ALL the animals, she pet goats and rabbits.. but she's scared of dogs and cats!! Seriously?!? I mean, the girl pet a SNAKE!!!

Ok, so she finally warmed up to Scratch on Thursday. She was so funny "almost" picking him up... she would scream and run around laughing hysterically... like she was so excited that she "wasn't afraid" anymore. She informed Carol and I that Scratch was "her cat", but that Mike and Carol could take care of it for her. So sweet of her to let them do that for her. Scratch rode around in the baby's stroller... she. loved. it.

First hair cut!

2009-03-13T17:06:00.004-05:00

Well, probably not her first hair cut, but her first with me.. and yes, the lady gave me some of her hair in a plastic baggy! She was such a big girl. Her face was priceless!! So serious watching Lauren cut her hair. We cut quite a bit off because it was just so broken, but it's a cute little bob now that will grow back out quickly, and healthy!

A big girl

2009-03-12T23:06:00.003-05:00

The past two days Flor told me that she wasn't going to cry when I left her at school. Let me just say, the girl keeps her word. She went straight into her classroom hugged her teacher, came back to hug and kiss me, then she was off to play!! Thank you, GOD!! It made my day! I was so proud of her! Soooo, I just wanted to brag a little bit.

circus clowns!

2009-02-27T18:52:00.003-06:00

We were suprised last night with 2 tickets to the circus from my landlord! I made the mistake of telling Flor right away and she could hardly eat, or do anything for that matter except for ask me when we were going to leave!

This is a video of Flor first taste of cotton candy... it was hilarious!! She liked the taste but couldn't get past the texture and how it melted in her mouth... She makes the best faces.

She was so excited to see the elephants and payasos (clowns), not so much the lions, but we didn't end up staying past intermission, so we didn't see the lions anyway. As far as she knows, we left at the end. She loved it!!

Milestone moment!!

2009-02-25T21:56:00.003-06:00

Wednesday nights Ashli comes over and we watch LOST. Last week was hard because I thought I'd just put Flor to bed before it came on and then I could watch it. Well, that didn't go over well with her. She was scared to be upstairs by herself. She cried and ended up sleeping with me on the couch until it went off. Well, tonight I thought I'd just let her lay on the couch and sleep while we watched... about 20 minutes into the show, she asked me if she could go to bed. Of course!! But I explained to her that I was going to stay downstairs with Ashli. She asked if I could turn all the lights on and I said sure I would! So, I tucked her in, turned ALL the lights on upstairs, she told me that she wasn't scared, :), and never heard another peep out of her!! I am so proud of her!! It makes me feel so good that she is getting comfortable in her home and with me.

As for LOST, abc went black about 10 minutes before the show went off, so I'll have to finish it online this weekend... so NO SPOILERS PLEASE!!! :)

It's been almost 8 weeks...

2009-02-24T12:09:00.004-06:00

... and a lot has changed! Daddy's been in Colorado on a job since New Year's and Flor and I have been counting down the days until her abuelito came home, and he finally did!! We stayed up last night to meet him at the airport, and that is all she could talk about all day. Of course, she was a little shy at first but it didn't last long... and talked about him all the way home too!

What a busy week!

2009-02-21T23:44:00.005-06:00

Flor was so excited yesterday! After she spent the afternoon with aunt Connie (who sent her home with a bag full of goodies!), she got to go play with her "Tete"! She shrilled just at the thought of getting to see Fernanda (aka Tete to all the ol' ADN fam). She has been telling me all week, "Tete es mi amiga." or "Tete es mi hermana." SO SWEET!! They had a great time feeding each other at dinner, then playing with all of Fernanda's toys. (She was so sweet for sharing with Flor). Rosa tagged along as well. Flor said that she was her baby and wanted me to take her home with us! She talked to me all the way home about how crazy Fernanda dances. It amazes me to see these two girls together again, playing just like no time has passed since they lived together in Guate!

This morning was our first time to go to church since we've been home. Flor was all about it this morning, but then a little clingy when it was actually time to drop her in her class. I assured her that after her class and my class were finished that I would be back to get her and she shook her head in affirmation, so I headed to the sanctuary. Well, she made it through worship, then I saw her name flash across the screen. (I didn't even have to check the number, there could only be one Flor, right?) As I passed through the doors, I just followed her crying until I found her snuggled up with one of the children's pastors. He was so sweet telling him that they loved her very much and that we would just try again. Maybe a little each week until she gets used to her class. So, she came into the sanctuary with me, and was really great the entire service. I even noticed her mocking pastor Rusty at one point. Every hand motion he did, she would do. It was quite comical to me.

This week has been good, and a learning experience for us both. "We're" learning boundaries and how no means "no". But she's also feeling more and more secure every day. She stills asks me, or more like makes the statement that I am her mama, several times a day. Also, almost every time we go anywhere she asks me if I'm going with her, if we're going together, then again that I'm her mama. But I can see that she is getting more and more comfortable if I get up, she's not asking EVERY time where I'm going? Where is that? I don't see it.... etc.

That's not to say that I'm not learning and adjusting everyday too. :) I really appreciate your prayers for both of us!

It's a GIRL!!! (or 2!)

2009-02-19T18:48:00.004-06:00

Congratulations to two beautiful babies today for becoming apart of two amazing families!!! The Byars and the Clarks are now proud parents of two precious baby girls!!! Hopefully they will be travelling in the next month or two to pick up their girls!!

Congratulations!!

Home at last

2009-02-15T12:34:00.007-06:00

What a sweet valentine! Yesterday we played all day, exploring all the new toys in her new room in her new house. My sweet friends "broke" into my apartment and decorated with streamers and balloons to welcome Flor! I have to keep assuring her that this is our house, that I'm staying here too, that I'm not leaving. She sticks pretty close by... right now she is squished up beside me so much I can hardly type with my left hand.

I just had to post this picture from today. She came over and asked me to tie her baby onto her back, just like she's seen the nannies do every day her entire life. She played the rest of the day like this. Everything else she did, she had that baby right there on her back. It was the sweetest thing!!

Goodbye, Guatemala... hello Alabama!

2009-02-13T20:46:00.004-06:00

Getting ready to leave Guatemala... this time taking Flor with me!! We had to get in our last photos before our ride came to pick us up and take us to the airport.

So glad Stephanie had her iPod with her. Flor loved listening, watching, and playing with it.

Goodbye, Guatemala!!

No idea what the movie was, but for sure those headphones were way to big!

Flor ate all of her food, then the rest of mine, then the rest of Stephanie's. The girl can put away some food!!

Pretending to be asleep.

Flor looks so grown up talking to her Abuelo on the phone. Not sure he understood a word she said, but loved every minute of it.

There were so many friends and family at the airport to meet us. Including a very special friend from Amor del Nino, Tete!! (aka: Fernanda) What an exhausting day, in so many ways!

But I am forever thankful to finally have my girl home with me!

Can you believe this face?

2009-02-12T22:26:00.004-06:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day! We head out tomorrow morning at 10:00am. We've got two lay-overs, Miami and Memphis, Immigration in Miami, a pretty late arrival in Huntsville tomorrow night... so we'd appreciate every prayer tomorrow!!

Last visit to Amor Del Nino

2009-02-12T19:46:00.004-06:00

We took our last full day to visit with Shyrel and the kids at Amor del Nino. It was such a bittersweet day, saying goodbye to everyone, but it was great spending time with the kids.

Stephanie fell in love with a few of them, I do believe. Tanya took up with her pretty quickly, which is uncommon for Tanya, so that says a lot about Stephanie.

Adriana and Danny are Flor's best friends from ADN. I love how unhappy she looks in this picture for having to "share" me. She kept saying over and over, "ES MIA!" (She's mine!)

Shyrel had a long talk with Flor before officially saying goodbye to her. I love the look she has on her face here. So much love.

Mama Shyrel getting her hugs and kisses from Flor.

Flor's last meal with her friends.

Flor sitting on her old bed. She'd finally out grown her pack and play into a toddler bed.

Stephanie and Jenny

Flor, Adriana, and Danny laughing

...and playing.

Goodbye to Hannah.

an evening of rest

2009-02-11T22:35:00.000-06:00

After the Embassy Appointment and our celebration lunch at Chili's(!!!) we headed back to Amy's to crash. We spent the night in playing with Flor and laughing our heads off. Flor fixed my hair, colored, and played with toys Amy had in a basket in the living room. We talked to family back home and even got to see Darrell, Brennan, and Tanner on webcam. This day was unforgetable.

Embassy appointment... CHECK!!!

2009-02-11T10:20:00.003-06:00

The Embassy appointment with (almost) without a glitch. We arrived on time. I only sat in the wrong area for a few minutes. (haha) No problem. Made it to the right place, and started talking to a few other parents that were there with their children waiting on the same thing I was. There was a very nice gentleman (lawyer) with one lady who helped me make sure I had all the right documents in order, which I already knew I did, but it was nice to have someone who has done it before to help. I turned in everything and paid, then waited some more. When we were called back for our first interview, the lady asked me when I first met Flor. March 2006. Well, my NEW passport shows that this is my only trip... soooooo, thank God that I brought my old one. I just know that He put that thought in my head, saying, "I'll need that to prove I've visited before." So glad I listened. Of course, I didn't have it with me!! But the interviewer was nice enough to let me run get it and come right back to her! I RAN out to get a taxi that just would not go fast enough, ran upstairs, burst in the door like a crazy woman, telling Stephanie I NEED MY OLD PASSPORT!!! It was in the first place I looked, thankfully. So here we go again, run downstairs, run outside, grab a cab, and head BACK to the Embassy. I get to go right back to the same lady, which goes so smoothly, then again waiting for the next interview. It wasn't but about 10 minutes before she called our name. I raised my right hand, and there it began. It was short and sweet and I'm pretty sure they fell in love with Flor too! It was all over with an "APPROVED!!" We go back tomorrow for her visa.

All of this was done between 7:15 and 9:15... I was so shocked to get back and see it was only 9:30!! I felt like it was AT LEAST after lunch! It was such a long morning, but other than the passport thing, which really turned out to be nothing because God was watching out for me.

Oh!! Another cool thing was since I had to take 4 taxis instead of only 2, I thought I would run out of cash, but before leaving the last time, I looked and saw I had Q25, and can you guess how much that last taxi ride was? If you guessed Q25, then you were right!! God is good, and He sees even the smallest detail.. and provides!!

DAY TWO!

2009-02-10T18:40:00.006-06:00

Our second day together was great! I got to take Stephanie and Flor to Antigua, where I lived a few years ago. So, we packed Flor in the car and took off. No carseat, so we just stuck Flor in the seatbelt and drove very carefully.

We parked the car and walked over to the artesian plaza to pick up some souvenoirs. It is such a beautiful plaza and Stephanie was able to get gifts for Brennan and Tanner and I got a few things for Flor as keepsakes.

As trip to Antigua would not be complete without lunch at Mono Loco! My favorite place to eat. Of course, I had chicken quesadillas and shared with Flor. Stephanie had the same and actually tried the guacamole! (she said she liked it.)

Antigua is surrounded by 3 beautiful volcanos: Agua, Fuego, and Pacaya. Aqua is the biggest that you see in the background of these pictures, but Pacaya is the only one that is active. It can actually be seen smoking almost daily and at night red fire can be seen at the very top!

Walking in central park is an adventure all in itself. There are so many people and things to see. It is always a busy place.

All three volcanos can be seen from central park, unless the trees get in the way.

Another famous tourist picture op is at the golden arch. No, not McDonald's. Just one arch. Just past this arch is another of my favorite restaurants, Frida's.

We had the pleasure of being able to visit Senora Maria, my Spanish teacher from Cano/El Quetzal Spanish school. She is an amazing Christian woman, who not only helped me with Spanish, but taught me a lot about having faith and being a servant. She also works in her spare time with the church visiting the rural areas on Guatemala, near Tecuaco, to spread Jesus' love. She has such a sweet spirit. Our Spanish lessons usually turned into Bible studies, which was just fine with me. I truly have a special place in my heart for Senora Maria. She took the time to visit with us and prayed over Flor after we took this picture.

Afterwards, we went by some of the ruins in Antigua. I'd never actually visited them in all the years I'd lived in Guatemala. No time like the present. Antigua has such history and it would take a week to visit all there is to see just in the 8 block area of "downtown" Antigua. But we had fun wondering around the beautiful grounds of these ruins in particular. Flor got hot and found a small area of shade to sit in with her baby.

I think she liked Stephanie just a little bit. What do you think?

We did actually stop by McDonald's to cool off and eat some ice cream. Flor was very proud of her ice cream cone, which she thoroughly enjoyed as she ate it very, very slowly. That night we went to The Westin in zona 10. Chris had helped us get his employee discount (you know, since I'm his sister and all). I have never stayed in such a nice hotel, in the States nor in Guatemala. Most comfortable beds ever. Stephanie snapped a picture of me giving Flor her first bath. It wasn't really her first bath, but it was the first bath I gave her as her mommy. You can tell by the picture that she loved it.. and that she is very ticklish!! >

Chris was amazing in helping us last minute getting a room at the Westin. But not only that, he had a little surprise left in the room for Flor. This sweet, HUGE teddy bear with a little note attached saying, "Congratulations!" Flor was so surprised!!

What a wonderful night!!

2009-02-10T07:51:00.004-06:00

I can't say that I slept well last night, but it was the best night of sleep ever. I shared half of a full size bed with the sweetest little girl! (Not that we didn't have a whole bed to sleep in, but she was snuggled up to me the whole time) It was seriously the sweetest thing I've ever experienced. It was so funny, I would close my eyes for a minute, open them a few minutes later, and she would be staring at me, with the biggest smile. Every few minutes, she would say, "Moma" and put her arm around my neck. After she turned over and over abooooooouuuut.... 27 times, she settled in, started playing with my hair, and dosed off. She sleeps pretty wild, told me "SHHHHH!" at one point, and hit my arm (all while sleeping)...

(She's coloring with Stephanie right now, singing the Barney song.. in Spanish of course... so sweet)

DAY ONE!!

2009-02-09T12:26:00.003-06:00

Connie dropped Stephanie and I off at the airport EARLY this morning. But we were already laughing and having a good time then! There were several times we laughed so hard that we cried! It was such a great trip down and I'm so glad that Stephanie was able to be there with me.

This was our official drop off moment. Steve left her with me and I would never have to leave her again! I was so excited and a nervous wreck!! But Flor was such an angel! She never once cried. She just hugged Papa Steve and kissed him good-bye and turned to me. What a precious memory.
We went to eat dinner at Pollo Campero. I had to introduce Stephanie to the imfamous restaurant that we all loved. Plus, I was sure craving it after a year and a half being away!!
An old friend, Amy Spencer, let us stay in her casita while she was visiting her home in the States. What a blessing!! Not having to pay hotel expenses every night saved us a bundle!! I was so thankful to her.

Abby

2009-02-06T23:20:00.002-06:00

Please read the latest update on Abby and pray, pray, pray... then ask someone else to pray. pray, pray!!! Pray for healing for her little body. Pray for no more pain and discomfort. Pray for strength for her and her family. Pray for a miracle!!! http://www.riggsfamilyblog.com/

three sleeps!!!!

2009-02-06T07:54:00.003-06:00

I bought our tickets yesterday... then I cancelled them and bought some more... LOL.. We're trying to make this as difficult as possible.. :-/ Not really, but instead of flying out of Nashville, we found some tickets out of Huntsville for even cheaper, we'll just have an extra leg of flight in there somewhere. It was a crazy night, but now it's done and we're on our way early Monday morning and coming back Friday night!! I feel a little overwhelmed with everything falling into place, all the details, but I have One who sees all, provides where I am needing, and is strong when I am lacking. He knows how much I need that now. One of my favorite songs by Jennifer Knapp basically says it doesn't matter how much I try and fail, how great my short comings are, how much I try to do it, or figure it out myself.... HE IS FAITHFUL!!!
I am praying today that every does fall into place as needed. Not just for the trip, getting ready, and bringing her home; but also for after she's here. I want to rest in Him, and soak up and enjoy every second of the next week... and the weeks, months, and years to come! My flesh gets in my way ALOT. It is a daily, minute by minute at times, struggle to give it back to Him... again and again.

Thank you, God, for your faithfulness, and mercy, and grace... and love.

PINK!

2009-02-04T19:43:00.002-06:00

We're PINK!!!!

I got the email today that I've been waiting on!! Our appointment is for next Wednesday morning!! I haven't bought any tickets yet, but we'll probably be coming home next weekend... hopefully the 13th... !!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, JESUS!!!!

I'll post later with more details...

No news today.

2009-02-02T20:40:00.004-06:00

Well, it didn't matter how much pink we wore today, the email didn't come. I was really, really wanting to get that email today... as hard as I try not to get my hopes up, I somehow do. I kind of feel a little sick to my stomach now. I guess that's the disappointment, but I truly feel nauseated. I know that it doesn't have to make sense to me. I know that God is in total control. He already knew I wouldn't hear from the Embassy today. Why do I even TRY to guess when it'll be..?!?

It has to be soon. It has to be. I miss my little girl.

Please continue to pray that the timing will work out for every detail and every person involved.

think PINK!!

2009-02-01T22:50:00.004-06:00

I am really hoping I get THE email tomorrow...

If you think about it, could you say a little prayer that I get it? I'm just so ready to hear from the Embassy, and KNOW the dates to buy my tickets, and be on my way!! It is time!!!

Today, in honor (and hope) of being PINK this week, I bought the sweetest little table for Flor. I've been wanting a little wooden table and chairs for us to have tea parties. I didn't want plastic, I wanted wood. But I hadn't found one cheap enough, not that I was looking all that hard anyway. But today, I just happened to be wandering around TJMaxx after church and I saw a cute little table sitting there. It was PINK... hmm... The paint was peeling off the corners and bubbling up in the middle, so I checked the price, sure enough... clearance!!! $5.00!!! SOLD! I'm going to peel the rest of the paint off and decoupage something on it, or do something really great to it... we'll just see how inspired I get! I will post before and after pictures when I'm done! :)

Thank you, Bill!!!

2009-01-27T18:55:00.005-06:00

My friend was in Guatemala this week and just 'happened' to run into a little person that we all will recognize...

Just think... it won't be long at all until I am holding her in my arms!!! FOREVER!!!

Here she is studying a picture I sent down of all of my family that we took at Christmas...

... and that priceless smile...

Bill also sent me an email with a little video, which just made me cry because it shows Flor running to Mama Shyrel to point me out to her in the picture!! You can here her say, "Amanda" while she's pointing to the bottom right of the picture (which of course is where I am!) :)

She loves her mommy!!

Birth Certificate!!!!

2009-01-26T18:52:00.003-06:00

I missed a call from Guatemala today, and when I called back Shyrel answered!! She said that she had Flor's new birth certificate!! !!!!!!! !!! !!!!! ! She said she would take it to get her new passport on Wednesday morning and my lawyer would be able to take it to the Embassy that afternoon even! So, I may hear from the Embassy about my appointment as early as Friday!! Of course, the appointment will be able a week out, so I'm thinking maybe sometime the week of the February 9th??!? It could happen!!!! I have been shaking ever since. My heart is racing. I feel like my mind is working 90 to nothing, but my body can't keep up!! How exciting!!!

Shyrel told me that the other kids at ADN started school this week, and that Flor came up to her out of nowhere and said, "Yo voy a estudiar con Amanda." !!!!! Shyrel told her that she surely was!!! She said she thinks that she really understands what is going on, and what's about to happen... you know, as much as a 4-year-old can. I am so thankful!!!

So, be expecting more good news from me later this week!!!

He must be carrying me now.

2009-01-18T10:57:00.004-06:00

These past few weeks have been a little overwhelming. I feel like I have so many "balls in the air". There have been some things that have come in out of no where and taken me so off guard, almost knocked me off my feet. Worrying about details that I can't control anyway. Concerned about details that may not matter. Wanting to figure it all out before I get there. I want a road map that shows me before hand which way I'm going to take and where it is I'll end up. I want to see the puzzle box lid, so I can know that I know that I know that I'm putting the right pieces together. I want it laid out in front of me, so it won't take any kind of faith at all. I just want to hear God say, follow me this way, then pull the rope tied around my waist, so I don't have to make any decisions or do any work.

As you're reading this, you're thinking the same thing I am: that's just not how it works. Listening to Pastor Rusty this morning brought back to mind an old lesson that God showed me several years ago. He said this morning, "We would love to take the easy way out, but God didn’t promise us the easy way, but he did promise us he would take us through… and that means we will come out the other side. ...He is faithful and true."

In Luke 8:22, Jesus gets in the boat and says, "Let us cross to the other side of the lake." That alone should have given the disciples faith. He said it, it was as if it was already done. In March of 2007, God said to me, "This is your daughter which I have given you, Flor de Maria." And in truth, that has many, many times given me the strength to keep going, because God spoke it to me. Do you know that His Word is His Promise? But just as the disciples, when even the littlest storm comes along and shakes my boat, I panic. I try to take control of the situation, and I'd "like to figure out now please, if you don't mind, okay? thanks." I rush to wake him up, screaming, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO??! HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS!?" Then there he goes, sitting up ever so calmly, he rubs the sleepy from his eyes, and says, "Oh ye of little faith.." And my heart sinks. And every time I am brought back to his promises. I am reminded of how much he loves me, how much he loves Flor. You want to know the best verse of this story to me? Verse 26, "They landed in the region of the Gerasenes, which is just across the lake from Galilee." Do you hear that? Whadda ya know... He kept his word. They crossed the lake. Want to know something else? I HAVE A DAUGHTER!! She will be a Tomlin on paper soon, just as she always has been in my heart. And although she is not in my arms forever yet, she will be in just a few short weeks and God's work is not finished yet.

He didn't promise this road would be easy. But he did promise he'd be with me. He can calm my storms and hopefully I will learn the invaluable lessons he is trying to show me through them. Once again I realize I am only clay in his hands and he is molding me to become the mother that Flor needs to guide her in the direction HE has for her. That is a crazy huge, but amazingly awesome responsibility. My only hope is that He will be with me the entire time. We are on the other side of the lake, but there are more miracles in store.

I feel like I have a lot of turns and decisions and things coming up soon. I feel like nothing is settled (like I said, lots of balls in the air) and I would really appreciate your prayers for peace and discernment, knowing what direction God would have me to go, leaning on Him alone for that direction, and trusting that He will see me (us) through to the other side.

Moma

2009-01-15T20:00:00.006-06:00

Today Moma would have been 58 years old. In 2 weeks it will be 6 years, but it really feels like I haven't seen her in so, so long and I miss her.

I think I must have been about 6 or 7 years old in this picture. It's one of my favorite pictures ever.

I look like I was such a joy to be around this day, but moma looks beautiful!!

This one was before leaving on one of my many trips to Guatemala. That was back when being gone for one week was SUCH a big deal!!

I can't wait to tell Flor all about her granny. How much she would have loved her. How much fun she was to be around. What a great mother she was to me and my sisters. What a strong woman she was, in her faith and especially when she fought cancer for 5 years. She taught me so much about so much. I hope that I can pass that on to Flor.

CONGRATS HEINRICH'S!!!

2009-01-14T20:08:00.004-06:00

Auri is coming home!!! FINALLY!!! January 23rd!!! I am beyond thrilled for them!! A looooooooong journey is finally coming to an end, so the best can begin!! Congrats, Deanna!!!

Guess who you'll be hearing about next??!? Floricita!!!

always learning

2009-01-10T00:41:00.003-06:00

I've had a whole whole lot on my mind this past week. Lots of changes and concerns that have occupied almost every thought I've had. I've been trying to figure things out on my own. I felt like I couldn't help it and worst of all, I couldn't stop these thoughts. I kept trying to give them over to God, but then I'd just take them right back and I couldn't stop! Last night, as I was opening my mail for the week, I came to a realization: Did God create me to be Flor's mother? Did he call on this journey of adoption? Is he about to unite mother and daughter from across the globe?How awesome is he? How many times has he proven to me that he will provide my every need, and not be a minute late. He has provided the finances I have to needed to follow him several times, like when I moved to Guatemala and when I first started the adoption process, for example. But the concerns I've had this week have been about lives, relationships, and family. Something completely new to me. He is teaching me a whole new way to trust him. He is showing me that he is the lover of my soul. He sees every need and knows every thought before I even have them, and he knows the answer!! He has called me on this journey because it is his, and he will see it through. So, I cast all my cares on him, for he cares for me. (1 Peter 5:7) It is his Word. It is truth. I know I will fail, doubt, worry... again and again... but thankfully I can always count on him to stay steadfast. His promises are always good.

I am so thankful for that.

RENAP news...

2009-01-09T16:02:00.002-06:00

We are in RENAP and are moving forward... I'm hoping to hear news of a new Tomlin in the world by next week!!! PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING!!!

There are no words

2009-01-02T00:28:00.003-06:00

I am completely overwhelmed right now. My friends, and when I say friends I'm saying like friends since we were in 1st grade friends, friends from high school, and even their families, well they got together over the past couple of weeks and collected money to give me for Christmas to help with adoption expenses!! They gave it to me tonight. Wanna know how much??!? Well, I've been checking airline prices over the past few weeks, and God must've been watching me because He knew what I was thinking. They gave me enough to buy my ticket to Guatemala AND to buy Flor's ticket back!!! How perfect is that! I was totally speechless!! What sweet friends! I am amazed.

Happy New Year!!!

2008-12-31T18:27:00.003-06:00

So, today I did something new. I washed some of Flor's clothes. I almost cried folding them afterwards. Her little socks are so tiny. I just became overjoyed thinking about how soon her little feet will be filling them! I am so excited to get her here. I'm thinking of every detail and the more I do, the more excited I get!! I thought she would be here in 2008. Now I'm hoping I'll spend MOST of 2009 with her!!

CHIP IN!!!

2008-12-30T23:48:00.002-06:00

I've added an easy way for people to give on my sidebar, called ChipIn. If anyone is interested in helping with my remaining travel expenses, lawyer's fees, etc., you just click the ChipIn button, and using PayPal you can give directly to my account!! It's so easy and would be greatly appreciated!!

Thank you!!

Mi Princesa

2008-12-26T08:11:00.004-06:00

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day." Habakkuk 2:3

How adorable is that look on her face? How incredibly BIG is she getting? Why is she doing that so fast anyway?

This was another Christmas gift I received, not at all on purpose, but I stole this off of Steve's newsletter... I just couldn't help myself! I can't wait to squeeze her and to feel those little arms squeeze me back!! It won't be long!

Guess who??

2008-12-24T18:34:00.003-06:00

Guess who called me this morning??!? Oh yes, my sweet Flor called to say 'buenos dias' and 'feliz navidad'!! She also said 'te amo', 'hola mama', 'adios', and then she laughed a WHOLE lot!! Oh how I miss her laugh!!! It is so unique and such a beautiful sound!! We only spoke for a few minutes, maybe 5, but it was wonderful!! She told me she was going to open presents today at 2pm, well she didn't tell me all that. But Shyrel did. You better believe that it started my day off so well!!!

I'll post more about that later.

Christmas in Dixie

2008-12-23T09:24:00.005-06:00

I went out to Goodsprings to stay at Daddy's Friday night. Saturday morning was our family Christmas, which was so special. Every year, as a family we gather the money that would have been spent on gifts and give it to a family or person in need. This year it was decided to give to those who have cared for years for our sweet Flor who couldn't be with us this year. I am thrilled that my family has come together and are just as excited as I am about our newest addition!! We usually do get gifts for the kids, but this year Paw-Paw and Gran had another idea. After breakfast we gathered by the fireplace where there were 8 gifts bags. As he told the story, he had each grandchild come up and open a sack and hand him whatever was in it. It wasn't too long before we realized that the nativity scene was coming together piece by piece. Will handed him Mary. He would ask each time who the person was and what it meant that they were there. Of course, the reason that Jesus was born was brought up a few times. ;) It was amazing because there are a few family members who haven't accepted Jesus and their Lord and Saviour, so I prayed so hard that they were listening, even as the young ones answered paw-paw's questions. And the traditional table cloth was signed. We have 4 tablecloths, so far, that we write on every Christmas, writing what we are thankful for that year. I just could not think of a single thing to write this year.... HA HA!! Yeah right, I had to cut it short, not to take up the entire tablecloth!! It was neat to think that this would be the last year without Flor's little hand print or her writing her own name... :)

Prayer meeting

2008-12-18T21:16:00.003-06:00

What a blessed evening I had last night... my sweet friend, Melodie planned a night of praise and prayer at Starbuck's to lift up everything involved with getting Flor home. Unfortunately, most folks have church on Sunday night (and that sounds bad to say "unfortunately", but it's not that they have church, just that they couldn't come). You know!! So, it ended up being just Melodie and I. What a blessing! It really couldn't have been more perfect! We talked a LOT and I had tons of questions for her, since she went through all of this back in the summer. We really had a great visit. Then we prayed. We prayed for every aspect of our case. We prayed. (Then we visited some more!!)

I am so thankful to have friends like Melodie. It's been so amazing how God has brought certain people into my life, at this time in my life, and we have/are all going through the same struggles, joys, and experiences.

... and I can't WAIT for Flor and Fernanda to get together again!!

What's on my tree Wednesday:

2008-12-17T23:38:00.004-06:00

My aunt has been doing this the past few weeks, so I thought I'd join in with only 2 Wednesdays to go until Christmas... Here are a few of my favorites:

Here's one my moma made YEARS ago. I can't even remember a Christmas without this ornament on our tree... and no tree is complete without an Alabama ornament!!

Here's another one Moma made. There are actually several of these wooden ornaments that she painted before I was even born. Actually, Stephanie had them all, but brought them over on Thanksgiving and she, Connie, and I went through and split them up. I think we each left with 12 or so. I love each one of them, but this one I remember being a favorite even as a little girl.

Stephanie gave me this one several years ago and it has been a favorite ever since!! Feliz Navidad!! :)

Stephanie also had these made for Connie, herself, and I Christmas 2003. It was our first Christmas without moma, and I just love it. Of course, thinking of spending Christmas with Jesus makes me a little jealous... the back says, "Susan Elizabeth Milam, January 15, 1951 - January 27, 2003"

Well, I guess I'll save some for next Wednesday!! :) Enjoy!!!!!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

2008-12-16T18:08:00.004-06:00

Yes, I legally have a daughter!! She has been my daughter since March 2007, when God spoke her into my heart... and I have loved her for much much longer than that... but today it is official!!! We were approved at PGN and we're OUT!!!

God has answered the prayers of his children today! If any of us ever had a doubt that he does answer prayers in HIS TIME, today we have seen him in action!!

Shyrel took Flor to PGN today and got the run around. She said she went to at least four offices before being sent back to the first, where the guy behind the counter said it had just come down to be released!! She said Flor charmed everyone and they all fell in love with her!! (of course!)

Now we wait for her new birth certificate and the embassy appointment... it won't be long now, baby girl!!

This is my "get out of PGN celebration" picture!!! In this photo: Jami, Daddy, and Flor in front of PGN in October... :) Adios, PGN!!

carefree

2008-12-14T11:06:00.003-06:00

This morning as I was driving home from church, I was thinking about my sweet Flor, as usual. I was thinking about how much I love her; how much I miss her. I caught myself wondering if she could even comprehend what is going on in this world for her. If she can even count high enough to number the people that are working so hard to get her home. If she can even fathom the amount of prayers going up daily from all around the world. If she knows how often I think of her. I wonder if she even has a thought for me throughout the day.

Then I realized how selfish I am for thinking that way. Of course, I want to feel her love me back, but I would not in a million years want her to know what is going on now to bring her home. I wouldn't want her to feel how hard this is. How hard it is to wait. How much my hearts aches for her every single day. How often I cry.

I wouldn't want her to know or feel anything that I am experiencing right now. I don't want her to have a care in the world. I want her to go to bed tonight and sleep peacefully. I want her to wake up tomorrow morning, knowing that she'll have breakfast and a jacket to keep her warm. She won't even have to think about it actually. It just happens and she doesn't know any different. There is no worry in her little mind for that. No cares. Just being a little girl with her whole day ahead of her.

not what i wanted to hear

2008-12-12T23:16:00.003-06:00

I heard from my lawyer today... she's basically telling me that now another lawyer in PGN wants to revise and check the file, purely out of having Flor's best interest at heart. She's tried to explain to them that her best interest is to be home with her moma, but that for some reason other lawyers have taken a special interest in our case. They've said they don't think it's fair that the case gets out so quickly. Quickly?!? We've been in PGN for almost 4 months now! How is that quick?!? *sign* So, as far as I can tell some lawyer is reviewing our file all over again.

This is not the news I wanted to hear today, but the only option I have is to trust God now. He knows what's going on and he can turn their hearts like channels of water.

Can you feel it?

2008-12-12T07:25:00.004-06:00

I just feel it. We're getting out of PGN today... Today is the day!! Please LORD, let today be the day!! It's been almost 4 months... TODAY is the day!!!

Thank you, JESUS!!

a family's great loss and heaven's great gain

2008-12-07T17:13:00.004-06:00

Please stop where you are this second and pray for this family in their time of need. My heart broke as I read this last post. Their daughter was just killed, and her entire foster family, in an unspeakable tragedy. They were just weeks away from bringing her home. My heart is so heavy. Please pray when you think of them. Pray for comfort and a peace that passes all understanding.

prayer for approval!!!

2008-12-05T22:35:00.002-06:00

I just heard from Melissa, and my lawyer is expecting approval in PGN very soon... PLEASE be in prayer with me that it is next week!!

Gratitude tag!

2008-12-01T22:24:00.007-06:00

I was tagged by Amy to list 10 things I am thankful for, so here goes in no particular order:

1) My Savior, My King- without him I would be nothing, my life would have no meaning, and love would have borders. I am an unworthy sinner, but I am a sinner forgiven!!

2) My sweet Flor- I thank God that our paths twisted and turned the way that they did so that I would meet her that March morning in 2006 halfway across the world. She is my purpose in life, the reason I was born.

3) Gino- I'm so grateful to be spending the rest of my life with a godly man, who really has a heart for God.

4) My great family- there are no words. They are such a great support in my life and have been a godly influence in my life since I was born. I love being around them and I love that there are SO MANY of us!!

5) Old friends- we've been through a lot and they know me better than anyone. There is never a dull moment, we act like we're 12 the majority of the time, and we have so many inside jokes that it's like we're speaking another language sometimes.

6) Adoption- what a perfect act of God's love for us. We are adopted into his family and he loves us unconditionally and his own.

7) Music- I love almost all types of music and worship is in my blood. It defines moods, personalities, thoughts, feelings, and even eras.

8) Time- time is the only thing you can give someone of yourself that you will never get back. When someone gives you their time, it shows they really care.

9) Creativity- What a unique trait to give each one of us. The Creator of the Universe gave us the ability to create: whether it be with music, art, teaching, leading, witnessing, invention... the list goes on and on...

10) LIFE- the greatest miracle of all. How each molecule comes together in the womb to form each and every one of us as infants.

Now, I tag Connie, Stephanie, and Debbie

A family united

2008-11-27T20:31:00.004-06:00

Our local news tonight featured a family that came home today with their daughter. They have been in the process of adoption since she was born TWO YEARS AGO!! She was stuck in the bureaucracy in Guatemala for two years and she came home on Thanksgiving day!! What a testimony! It showed her grandmother giving her an stuffed elephant (Roll Tide Roll!) and other family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, her brother, and other grandparents. Before they left, the little girl's grandpa prayed over her and their family, giving thanks... I sat here and cried my eyes out.. AT THE NEWS!!

This will be me one day soon.