i still have sand in my hair..

.. not really, it's just all over the house by now.

Flor had her first beach trip this week, and what an understatement to say that she is in love just as much as I am!! We did spend plenty of time at the pool, but she swam in the ocean and played on the beach plenty too! She loved the huge sand pile... "just like at abuelo's house". She was brave enough to swim in the ocean with Chris, but she didn't like the "fish poo-poo", better known as seaweed.

She swam without her floaties for a little bit. I was beyond proud! She talked to anyone within a 6 foot radius at any given time, and was even sweet enough to voluntarily share her cheez-its with two sweet toddlers that were too afraid to get in the water. I even have video of her doing a cannonball of the side of the pool, which has got to be the cutest little cannonball I've ever seen. So enough words, I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking...

an old journal

Flor is napping right now... she was worn out from the lake trip. I'll post a few pictures later, although I didn't take my camera out on the lake because we just floated on a huge "island" float off the dock. Too risky for my camera.

I've been doing some late summer cleaning and I found my journal from my second trip to Guatemala, which was November and December 1998. I was there for 6 weeks. I have to post some of the things I wrote because its just so funny...

"November 2, 1998: ...'Yesterday I found out where I might be sleeping for the next month. It is the room that Katie slept in when I was here. It is so tiny and it smells like pee a little. But I figure, I'll get used to it."

BWHAHAHAAH!&^@*&!^@&*!!! Seriously?!?

"November 9, 1998: ...'It was so hard for me to get to sleep tonight because I could hear the rats running across the ceiling. I know they can't get in, but I'm really not a mouse person at all. I've woken up twice and right now it's 3:16am and I just took a shower."

-I can vividly remember that night... makes. me. shudder.

Ok, and this one's my favorite so far:

"November 19, 1998: 'The other day, me and Jenny went to the tienda out on the road. Well, all of the sudden this big truck pulls up and about 2 women, 3 men, and 4 or 5 police stepped out. The policemen had their rifles or whatever. So we thought it was something big. Then all of the sudden they pull out this pizza with a coke. They all just sit by the road and eat. Isn't that strange? There are so many strange and wonderful things to see in Guatemala. I love it here."

How funny is that?!? Somehow seeing this strange thing just confirmed to me how much I loved that country... too funny.

Hopefullly I'll find more things to post from this journal.

Girl's only!

I'm taking Flor on a girl's only weekend today. We're going to the lake and she is so excited, but has no idea why! It's really adorable. I told her we were going to the lake and she asks (of course), "Why?"

"Because it'll be fun! We're gonna party!!"

"Is it 'happy birthday to me'?"

"No. It'll just be fun."

"Ooooh.... YAY!!"

All she knows right now is that we can't leave until she takes a nap. Hopefully nap comes before 5 pm. I hope to post lots of pics when we get back.

11 years ago this week....

.. I was in Guatemala for the first time. I went with a group of 8 to 12 people, two of which were my dad and 11 year old brother. We slept in green army tents. I helped in the kitchen cooking for 180 children. I cleaned bathrooms and dorm rooms for 180 children. I changed about 180 diapers... or more... and I played for countless hours with babies I'd never met before, but who I quickly fell in love with. A see of dark hair and chocolate eyes and brown skin... they were all so beautiful. When I think about all that fell into place to get me to that country... all that I've been through that kept me going back.. and I think of the precious little girl that I kiss good night every night... I cannot ingore God's hand all over our life. I wonder how much my life would be different even if one little step to get me from 11 years ago to now wouldn't have happend. What if I would have been stubborn and said no to the call in my heart. What if I would have followed the world's steps instead of God's? I thank Him every day for bringing me through all that he did. I am beyond blessed because he did.

summer time update

Ok, I really appologize at how horrible I've been at blogging.. I can't believe it's been so long!

Flor has learned the word "why" and uses it after every sentence I speak. When I ask her, "Why do you always ask me 'why?'..?" Her response: "Because I'm Flor." Sometimes she tries to tell me that it's because she had a cleft lip as a baby, but I'm just not buying that. The first excuse is so much more believable. It's funny, she holds up one side of her lip when you ask her what she looked like as a baby. (we've been looking at pictures recently)

Another thing she's started just in the past week is commenting after every statement you make to her with, "I know!" (but you have to imagine that in the cutest little Guatemalan "valley girl" voice you can) -ie- "Flor, you're so pretty!" -I know!- or "Flor, look at the fireworks!" -I know!- I promise I don't talk like that.

She's spending the summer with a family friend, which has been such a blessing for us! She'll start back to "school" August 10th, which is actually just a daycare, but to Flor it's school and she loves it! I can't wait for them to see how much English she's learned this summer.

We go swimming at least twice a week and Flor is getting so good! She is very brave and makes me so proud when I see her overcome her fears and push herself to grow. She jumps off the side now by herself and she will "swim" underwater with only her arm floats on. She can touch in the shallow end on her tippy toes, which quite frankly makes me a little sad because I can almost watch her growing!!!

Concerts in the Park

This week we went to 'Concerts in the Park' at Big Springs Park. If you've never gone, it's a really fun, and free, night out, every Monday in the summer!! Good music, dancing, and friends!! I met a friend and her boyfriend there, and Flor danced with her all night... well, if all night ends at 8:00! We took bubbles and probably annoyed everyone sitting in a 4ft. radius. There were lots of dogs running around, so Flor was a little anxious about that, even though they were on leashes, she is still pretty scared of dogs.

Breanne took this picture of her.

I love days like today...

it was sort of like this:

First doctor visit

Flor had an appointment with her new pediatrician today. We finally got her insurance settled and she was such a big girl too! She kept saying, "Mama, yo no lloro." (I don't cry) and "It's ok." Definitely reassuring herself more than she was me. She didn't like the gown she had to wear. It got in the way of her wiggling around all over the table and on the floor. So, she spent most of the time just in her panties... not shy at all!! At least the doctor was a lady and I told her that it was ok for the doctor to see her panties.

We weren't sure on the translation of one of the vaccines, so I have to get back to her and follow up. I will ask her then more about follow up surgeries for her cleft pallet.

Dumbo

Ok, so I bought this kiddie pool at Target, thinking I was getting this great deal... $5.00! Well, as you can see... I got my money's worth... it is a BABY pool!! But Flor, being Flor, did not care one bit that she barely fit. She had such a blast this afternoon! She swam and swam! Then her Barbie's swam too! So, I'd say it was WELL worth the $5 I spent for it! I can't wait to take her to a big pool this summer!!

The beginning of this video reminds me of Dumbo swimming the bucket taking his first bath! She was so cute!!

meant to be

Today I felt so exhausted. Not really sure why. Tonight was one of those nights that really make me wish I stayed at home with Flor. Sometimes I have a little pity party and only invite myself. I think of how unfair it is for Flor that I have to keep working... blah, blah, blah... seriously?!? Would she be better off without me?!? No way, Jose. I know that God sees this desire in my heart and that one day I will be able to do just that, until then I do what I have to do.

Every day I see more and more of myself in her. Some things that freakishly make up her own little personality, that I had nothing to do with, but that are so me... other things that she so sweetly copies from her favorite person in the world... that'd be me. Either way, there is no doubt in my mind that she was born my daughter. I wish I could explain it to make people understand. It's not some great thing I've done here... It's not that I've "saved" her from whatever life she would have had... This is just the way it has to be. There is no way around us being together. Both of our lives have taken us down these paths..., paths that have crossed and now intertwined!