I faith it.

Well, I didn't hear that we were out of PGN this week. I'm expecting to hear it next week. And that's that!

I've had something on my heart all week. A Word that was spoken at church last week.

You know when you're reading in the Word and you suddenly read a verse you've never read before... only YOU HAVE!!?!? I had one of those experiences last week during the service. Of course, it helps that it was read from a different version of the Bible. One that I have not really ever read before. But the way it's worded opened a whole new set of questions, and answers, for me. If you have The Message you can read more into it, but in Luke 17 it says,

"5The apostles came up and said to the Master, “Give us more faith.”
6But the Master said, “You don’t need more faith. There is no ‘more’ or ‘less’ in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, ‘Go jump in the lake,’ and it would do it."

Did you catch it? "There is no 'more' of 'less' in the faith"! Now, I don't claim to know anything, only what I feel in my heart. To me this says, I can't obtain more faith than I have right at this moment. I have the faith to say, "PGN, let us OUT!!" and it IS done. Faith moves things. It could move a mountain into the sea or make a sycamore tree jump into the lake!! Is faith even something that we HAVE at all? Or is it something that we act out? Is it a verb? Hope and Love can be both, why can't Faith? James says that faith without works is dead. It says that Abraham's faith was made complete by his works when he offered his son as a sacrifice to God.

We don't even know how God works through our faith to bring Glory to Himself and provide for us, his children. Did Abraham know that there was a ram going to be hung there in the bush when he went to sacrifice Isaac? In Joshua, the Israelites were told to follow the priests who carried the Ark of the Covenant across the Jordan River. Did they know that the water would stop flowing upstream and build up in a heap? No. God didn't reveal those things to them. Faith stopped the water from flowing and faith had that ram hung in the bush that day. What if Abraham had decided to wait another day before sacrificing his son? Would that ram had been there? What if the Israelites had not following exactly as God had told Joshua they should? Would God have stopped the water from flowing and drowning them all? Or had they been to scared to try at all!?? They would have missed out on one of the most amazing displays of God's provision in history.

There are so many things surrounding this whole process of adoption that doesn't make sense. I can't do this. But I don't have to. God spoke Flor into my heart as my daughter. You've heard the phrase, 'born in my heart', well, she was spoken into my heart as my child. To me, I am watching a miracle unfold every day as I live out this past year. It is all impossible. Nothing about it has made sense. Nothing has seemed like it would work out or be easy. Just as I didn't get a job until I took the first step and sent off the application, every step has been a step of faith. There was no other option because it is so impossible. Who am I? She is my Promised One, just as the Israelites and the Promised Land.

I have stepped out, God. I am looking on with much anticipation to see how you pull this one off!! I'm excited that You are already working on it. How will I pay the lawyer's fees? The Embassy fees? The plane tickets? How can I be able to stay home with her for a few weeks after she's here? Can I stay home with her forever? You stopped a flowing river. You provided a sacrifice in the nick of time. I can't wait to see how you work this one out, God. To look back and see how you were working where I didn't even know it. The testimonies will be unlike any other. I just know it will be amazing and I want the world to know, so that they will see too!! I feel like it's too big not to share!!

Ok, so I'm only human and I would be lying if I said that I didn't have moments of doubt, sadness, and fear. But ultimately, I know the One who loves Flor more than I could ever dream. I know the Provider who knows the exact amount I will need before I do. I know the One who is working this puzzle, fitting all the pieces together perfectly in His perfect Will. He has the lid to the box. He sees the whole picture. I don't have to know... as much as I would like to know, I don't have to know.

How did I get started on this ramble anyway??