Reasons you should not leave your children with me:

(also known as: Reasons my nephews love me):

1. They get to vacuum my carpet as much as their little hearts desire. Then get a wet rag and actually clean the vacuum itself. (he has a fetish) Oh, the joy of Saturday nights!!

2. They get to eat at McDonald's and play on the playground, even if it's dark and cold. (yes, the playground was outside)

3. If they want me to, I will cut their hair without asking you. Especially if it's touching their ears. But you may come in and catch me in the act and be just fine with it.