different view

I think I've got a different view on how I feel about Wendy leaving now.




You see? When Wendy left in January, I was so upset that she left when I wasn't here. I didn't even get to say good-bye. It was so sudden. I really missed her.



Well, she came back. She was here almost a week, actually a little over a week. How did I miss that as not being a gift? I got to see her again. I didn't get to say good-bye again, but maybe I'm not meant to say good-bye to Wendy. Nor to any girl for that matter.



At lunch today, I sat looking at the girls seated (I totally just forgot how to say "seated" in English, weird) around the table. I noticed Wendy missing. The girls carried on in their usual, a bit obnotious behavior. I just sat looking at each one of them. What have they been through in their lives? What memories seap through the cracks when we're not paying attention? What scars do they have from their hurt?



But how far has God brought them out of that? How is He going to use them to further his kingdom? I marvel at the thought. At what lengths would He go to save one of these little ones?



Little Seily sat in my lap today at church, just crying her eyes out. She has such a tender heart and at any slower song that we sing, she just gets her little heart broken. Sometimes she says she misses her mom and dad. Sometimes she says it's something else. But that little girl will just cry and cry. I remember when Daddy was here and his friend, Bob, shared one night with the girls. We had a time of prayer afterwards and I remember looking up at Daddy and Seily was sitting in his lap just crying her heart out. She's just a baby, even though she won't let you call her that. She so needs a father and a mother. All of the girls do. Even Miriam, the oldest. At 17, away from mother and siblings, and she's been here the longest, about 3 years.



I just can't understand it all. We can only trust that God has them in his hands, and on his mind.



I have one million mosquito bites. One in my armpit. (I hate that word, but that's where it is) It's so awkward scratching it too. heh. That's really the only one that itches too.