Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Thank you, Bill!!!

My friend was in Guatemala this week and just 'happened' to run into a little person that we all will recognize...
Just think... it won't be long at all until I am holding her in my arms!!! FOREVER!!!
Here she is studying a picture I sent down of all of my family that we took at Christmas...
... and that priceless smile...

Bill also sent me an email with a little video, which just made me cry because it shows Flor running to Mama Shyrel to point me out to her in the picture!! You can here her say, "Amanda" while she's pointing to the bottom right of the picture (which of course is where I am!) :)

She loves her mommy!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Birth Certificate!!!!

I missed a call from Guatemala today, and when I called back Shyrel answered!! She said that she had Flor's new birth certificate!! !!!!!!! !!! !!!!! ! She said she would take it to get her new passport on Wednesday morning and my lawyer would be able to take it to the Embassy that afternoon even! So, I may hear from the Embassy about my appointment as early as Friday!! Of course, the appointment will be able a week out, so I'm thinking maybe sometime the week of the February 9th??!? It could happen!!!! I have been shaking ever since. My heart is racing. I feel like my mind is working 90 to nothing, but my body can't keep up!! How exciting!!!

Shyrel told me that the other kids at ADN started school this week, and that Flor came up to her out of nowhere and said, "Yo voy a estudiar con Amanda." !!!!! Shyrel told her that she surely was!!! She said she thinks that she really understands what is going on, and what's about to happen... you know, as much as a 4-year-old can. I am so thankful!!!

So, be expecting more good news from me later this week!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

He must be carrying me now.

These past few weeks have been a little overwhelming. I feel like I have so many "balls in the air". There have been some things that have come in out of no where and taken me so off guard, almost knocked me off my feet. Worrying about details that I can't control anyway. Concerned about details that may not matter. Wanting to figure it all out before I get there. I want a road map that shows me before hand which way I'm going to take and where it is I'll end up. I want to see the puzzle box lid, so I can know that I know that I know that I'm putting the right pieces together. I want it laid out in front of me, so it won't take any kind of faith at all. I just want to hear God say, follow me this way, then pull the rope tied around my waist, so I don't have to make any decisions or do any work.

As you're reading this, you're thinking the same thing I am: that's just not how it works. Listening to Pastor Rusty this morning brought back to mind an old lesson that God showed me several years ago. He said this morning, "We would love to take the easy way out, but God didn’t promise us the easy way, but he did promise us he would take us through… and that means we will come out the other side. ...He is faithful and true."

In Luke 8:22, Jesus gets in the boat and says, "Let us cross to the other side of the lake." That alone should have given the disciples faith. He said it, it was as if it was already done. In March of 2007, God said to me, "This is your daughter which I have given you, Flor de Maria." And in truth, that has many, many times given me the strength to keep going, because God spoke it to me. Do you know that His Word is His Promise? But just as the disciples, when even the littlest storm comes along and shakes my boat, I panic. I try to take control of the situation, and I'd "like to figure out now please, if you don't mind, okay? thanks." I rush to wake him up, screaming, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO??! HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS!?" Then there he goes, sitting up ever so calmly, he rubs the sleepy from his eyes, and says, "Oh ye of little faith.." And my heart sinks. And every time I am brought back to his promises. I am reminded of how much he loves me, how much he loves Flor. You want to know the best verse of this story to me? Verse 26, "They landed in the region of the Gerasenes, which is just across the lake from Galilee." Do you hear that? Whadda ya know... He kept his word. They crossed the lake. Want to know something else? I HAVE A DAUGHTER!! She will be a Tomlin on paper soon, just as she always has been in my heart. And although she is not in my arms forever yet, she will be in just a few short weeks and God's work is not finished yet.

He didn't promise this road would be easy. But he did promise he'd be with me. He can calm my storms and hopefully I will learn the invaluable lessons he is trying to show me through them. Once again I realize I am only clay in his hands and he is molding me to become the mother that Flor needs to guide her in the direction HE has for her. That is a crazy huge, but amazingly awesome responsibility. My only hope is that He will be with me the entire time. We are on the other side of the lake, but there are more miracles in store.

I feel like I have a lot of turns and decisions and things coming up soon. I feel like nothing is settled (like I said, lots of balls in the air) and I would really appreciate your prayers for peace and discernment, knowing what direction God would have me to go, leaning on Him alone for that direction, and trusting that He will see me (us) through to the other side.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Today Moma would have been 58 years old. In 2 weeks it will be 6 years, but it really feels like I haven't seen her in so, so long and I miss her.
I think I must have been about 6 or 7 years old in this picture. It's one of my favorite pictures ever.

I look like I was such a joy to be around this day, but moma looks beautiful!!

This one was before leaving on one of my many trips to Guatemala. That was back when being gone for one week was SUCH a big deal!!

I can't wait to tell Flor all about her granny. How much she would have loved her. How much fun she was to be around. What a great mother she was to me and my sisters. What a strong woman she was, in her faith and especially when she fought cancer for 5 years. She taught me so much about so much. I hope that I can pass that on to Flor.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Auri is coming home!!! FINALLY!!! January 23rd!!! I am beyond thrilled for them!! A looooooooong journey is finally coming to an end, so the best can begin!! Congrats, Deanna!!!

Guess who you'll be hearing about next??!? Floricita!!!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

always learning

I've had a whole whole lot on my mind this past week. Lots of changes and concerns that have occupied almost every thought I've had. I've been trying to figure things out on my own. I felt like I couldn't help it and worst of all, I couldn't stop these thoughts. I kept trying to give them over to God, but then I'd just take them right back and I couldn't stop! Last night, as I was opening my mail for the week, I came to a realization: Did God create me to be Flor's mother? Did he call on this journey of adoption? Is he about to unite mother and daughter from across the globe?How awesome is he? How many times has he proven to me that he will provide my every need, and not be a minute late. He has provided the finances I have to needed to follow him several times, like when I moved to Guatemala and when I first started the adoption process, for example. But the concerns I've had this week have been about lives, relationships, and family. Something completely new to me. He is teaching me a whole new way to trust him. He is showing me that he is the lover of my soul. He sees every need and knows every thought before I even have them, and he knows the answer!! He has called me on this journey because it is his, and he will see it through. So, I cast all my cares on him, for he cares for me. (1 Peter 5:7) It is his Word. It is truth. I know I will fail, doubt, worry... again and again... but thankfully I can always count on him to stay steadfast. His promises are always good.

I am so thankful for that.

Friday, January 9, 2009

RENAP news...

We are in RENAP and are moving forward... I'm hoping to hear news of a new Tomlin in the world by next week!!! PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING!!!

Friday, January 2, 2009

There are no words

I am completely overwhelmed right now. My friends, and when I say friends I'm saying like friends since we were in 1st grade friends, friends from high school, and even their families, well they got together over the past couple of weeks and collected money to give me for Christmas to help with adoption expenses!! They gave it to me tonight. Wanna know how much??!? Well, I've been checking airline prices over the past few weeks, and God must've been watching me because He knew what I was thinking. They gave me enough to buy my ticket to Guatemala AND to buy Flor's ticket back!!! How perfect is that! I was totally speechless!! What sweet friends! I am amazed.