My girl.
She's growing so fast! I haven't seen her since July... that's 3 months. Wow. When I write it out like that it doesn't seem that long, but in my heart it seems like forever!!
Daddy says she is so big and weighs a ton!! Jami says she's a ball of energy and joy!!
It's great to hear about her... but it makes me miss her!!!
I can't remember what it feels like to enjoy having a weekend off... not that I've been working so hard, but that I haven't been working!! I'm off from the restaurant this weekend too because I wanted to take advantage and go apartment hunting. I found one I like yesterday. It was in my price range and in a good location. But they only have a 1/BR for now. But the lady there said I could move in and if I wanted I could get a 2/BR when one opened up probably around the end of the year. Then that got me thinking that really I could live in a 1/BD until Flor gets here and that would save me that much more money each month. I'm just not sure how that will go over in the home study. I need to talk to my social worker at the beginning of the week. But it's exciting!!
Daddy gets back from Guatemala today! He called me yesterday and I got to talk to sweet little Hannah. She is so sweet! There are just no other words to describe her... think of the sweetest thing you've ever encountered or tasted... she is more sweet than that. The first thing she said to me after we said how much we missed each other was "Amanda, I love you!"
sigh
I'm excited to see him and Jami... and they brought me looooooooots of pictures of Flor and the other kids!! I can't wait!!
I really hope that those of you who pray have been praying for me and Flor... we need it this week.
I dreamed about her last night. It's the first time I've actually seen her in a dream. I was at a court hearing with a lot of other adopting parents. On one side of what seemed like a church, were all the parents. On the other side, were all of the children being held by the young women who care for them. My family had gone down to Guatemala with me, even my sister Stephanie who's never been! I remember knowing that we had to go to a different court, so all of the parents were filing out the side door. We had to walk in front of where the children were. I glanced over and had to take a second look because there she was!! Being held by a young lady who couldn't have been older than 18. The lady looked at me like she didn't know me or why I would be so happy to see Flor. I wish I could describe Flor's face when she saw me... She lit up!! I felt relieved since I hadn't seen her in several months. But the lady held her back and wouldn't let her come to me. She wouldn't let me hold her. I was walking by so quickly that I didn't even have time to say good-bye. We walked from court to court. The whole thing was just the process of getting things done. It seems like we went on forever and I honestly don't even remember having an "end" to my dream.
My dad and Jami left for Guatemala yesterday. He called me this morning to tell me that Flor wanted him to carry her around all morning... but she was sooo heavy!! Could it be she already has him wrapped around her little finger?!? heehee!! I am so excited about getting some new pictures and stories when they get home this weekend!!
I'm working on getting as much paperwork done as I can on the adoption. I've been praying for a speedy adoption, and I know that God will answer. But I have to do my part and prepare for Him to show out!! So, I'm hoping to get my second home study meeting pretty quick. In the meantime, I need to find an apartment and move before my third and last home study visit. But I'm moving forward just as if God already had my apartment hand picked out for me... oh wait... HE DOES!!!
Pray for God's timing and perfect Will!!
This week has been so full of ups and downs... I'm amazed my head isn't spinning! God is so good! His timing is so important! I pray that I keep my eyes on HIM and always know that HE is in control!!
My birthday was Wednesday and it was a good one! This was the first birthday I had been home for in three years, so it was pretty special just in that. I had lunch with my wonderful sisters and a cousin and it was all such a great time. I had a class at church that I'm attending for 10 weeks... 4 down, 6 to go... and I will be so sad to see it end because I really enjoy it so much! It made for a great day! Phone calls and cards from family and friends made it even better!!
I made the decision this week to move out on my own. I've really had this desire and this week God really gave me his direction and so I'm taking this step and HE'S holding my hand all the way! Everything has just fell into place it seems and I don't know why this would be any different. There are always bumps in the road, but it is through those bumps that God shows HIMSELF mighty!!
I had my first home study visit today. It was in Birmingham and my social worker Amy is so nice. We went over a manual explaining everything I'd ever want to know about what I am and will be doing. Forms to fill out. Autobiographies to write. Questions to be answered. It was really good to be able to sit and talk to someone about all of this. I was able to get fingerprinted yesterday and take those to her today, so that was a good. She will send them out on Monday and that takes the longest to get back. We will have one more visit in Birmingham and then one here (in the new apartment God will provide!!).
On my way home from Birmingham, I found out that my great-aunt Paula passed away while I was in my meeting. She has struggled with cancer for a few years and been taking chemotherapy for what seems like forever. God had mercy on her this evening and took her home. Aunt Paula was really close to my mom since they were closer in age. She was actually the one who introduced my mom to my dad at a basketball game in high school. Summers were spent at her house by the pool for hours a day. For the holidays we would gather at her house for family reunions. In a lot of ways, she was the glue in our family... keeping us all close! She will be missed greatly by many. But I look forward to seeing her again soon! I imagine moma has given her the Grand Tour by now! She wouldn't come back now if she could! They are having a ball!
Please keep her children and grandchildren in your prayers this week.
This is a week full of birthdays and today we celebrated Clay turning 4!! The exciting part for me is that this is actually the first time in Clay's life I've been here for his birthday! Well, except for his actual birth. But he really doesn't pay much attention to it. He just knows I was here today and could've probably cared less. He had his friends and cousins here and played so hard, he'll probably pass out at bedtime tonight!
Brennan's birthday was yesterday and I can't believe that my first nephew is 10 years old.. Time just goes by too fast!! But he really is becoming an amazing little man! I'm very proud of him and Tanner!
It's just hitting me that my first home study visit is this Friday. In a way it seems to be coming up really quickly and in a way I feel like this week will last forever!! I'm really ready for it to be here. I can't wait to meet my social worker and of course get going with the adoption.
It becomes more real to me everyday that Flor is my daughter. Just when I think I can't love her any more than I already do... I DO!!! I have a little nightgown that I bought for her hanging on the armoir in front of my bed.
(*sigh*)
I really miss her.
I start work this week. The doctor is back and it will be at full-swing!!
This is going to be another good week.
I heard from Amy today (my social worker) and we have a meeting scheduled for next Friday (19th). I work until 1, so I will have to leave straight afterwards to get there. I am so excited and Friday could not get here soon enough...
I also got a packet today with the letter to request the police clearances and the fingerprint cards. Three of each, since I live with my sister and her family, her and her husband have to do it too.
I bought a journal today. I thought about writing this whole experience in it, even back to the day I met Flor, and giving it to her when she's older. I'm writing it to her like it were a letter. I think it will be pretty special. I'm trying to catch up now, and my thumb hurts from writing too much already!!
I started work today. I was just training and the doctor wasn't there, so it wasn't busy at all or anything, but I can already tell that I like it. Everyone is so nice and pleasant to work with. I even went and got me a few scrubs today too. Not too many though because I've heard rumors about someone getting me some for my birthday, so I think I'll hold out at least a week!!
Well, as one customer put it tonight, I start my "big girl" job tomorrow. I'll just be training and the doctor won't even be there, but I'm starting!! I'm so excited. It's amazing the peace I feel now compared to before. I just wanted a job, but to have one that I really think I'll like... God is good!!
Now I have to home study to look forward to. I'm anxiously awaiting the call of my social worker...
Flor was in a picture Steve posted in his blog today. She is so adorable and is getting so big!!
I worked a double today at the restaurant, so I am falling asleep as I type...
Good night... AND, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER CONNIE!!! I LOVE YOU!!
God really has shown Himself to me this week. It is always amazing and so humbling when He does that.
I struggled for weeks before sending in the paperwork I sent in just last week. One BIG hold up was the fact that I didn't have a full-time job. I have been looking since August. With a big chunk of that time being led on by the interpreter at the hospital, then numerous let downs when I heard nothing back from the countless resumes I sent in. But this week, even after the statement released by the DOS, God said to me once again, "What are you waiting for?" So, I sent the application. It was all I could do. And guess how God showed out?!? Guess who has a job?!?
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As of Friday I have a job! I'll be working at a neurologist's office downtown. He is a headache specialist. It will be part-time clerical and part-time clinical. I'll learn to take blood pressure and eventually even give injections!! OH! AND I get to wear scrubs!!
It is full-time and has medical insurance, which is exactly what I was praying for. My stepmom prayed that God open the door wide to the job he had for me. How much wider can the door open than the doctor saying, "If you want the job, it's yours." HELLO?!?!?
I am so thankful.
Looking back at one of my last blogs... I said I had a feeling about last week...
I also got a call from my agency and was told the name of my social worker (Amy) and that she would be calling me in the next few days to schedule my first home visit!! I am so excited!!! Please pray for her. I know that God has placed her with my case because she is the perfect one. I believe that with all my heart. I pray that God use her for His perfect Will!!
THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please continue to pray for these families who are also in this process with me: the Wheelers, the Schroders, and the Sellers.
Thank you again.
I have to wish a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my littlest nephew and his mommy...
So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHITNEY AND DAVIS!!!
CNN had a segment last night talking about the corruption in Guatemalan adoptions.
click here to watch the video.
Shyrel spoke to a reporter near the end.
Here is the link to the written report:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/10/03/guatemala.adoption/index.html
I sent the application to begin the home study off yesterday morning! It was such a relief to get it out of my hands and moving! But strangely it was hard to let go of. I mean literally, even at the post office. I guess I was giving up control, which is always a struggle. But isn't it funny that sometimes it's easier to hold onto things even when it gets nothing accomplished, just because we're afraid of failure?!? Where does that fear come from?
But I have to admit that I feel so excited to see how God will stretch my faith!
Please pray with me that God will send his angels along with this paperwork and touch the hearts of the people who touch it.
